Your Suicidal

a mixture of emotions :)

Your suicidal

 

Sober thoughts running in my head

Explosion of emotions caused by words you have said

 

I was a warrior who’d never give in

Fighting was all I knew, surrendering was always a sin

 

But I give up now, I do surrender

Steal my sword hide it for with it I’m thunder

 

Millions of thoughts cross my mind before each word I say

I can be nothing less than careful, I need you to stay

 

To save me from my reflection, save me from this cage

Be my knight, my right arm and protect me with rage

 

Even though a promise to you I have made and my promise I tried hard to keep

Clearly hard isn't enough, pain and tears I now bleed

 

Therefore, I shall hide in the darkness of my shame

Run away, never to return, to clear your name

 

And my memories I shall lose for ever

For memories of me and you make me shiver

 

And I shall be damned in the lowest part of this hell

For this pain is powerful, my soul it made me sell

 

As I’m now possessed by the demon I did sell him my soul

And to prevent me from my hunted mind I built a huge wall

 

It has a mirror but I can barely recognize myself anymore

It’s just this smart demon; it’s not a fair war

 

So since you want me to die I shall suicide

I shall cause you no more pain as in my grave I’ll forever hide

 

Yet in your heart I’ll always remain

Whether you like it or not, it’s properly insane

 

 But get me no wrong

As poison is my tongue

I lost myself with time

Now I write words that rhyme …

Reviews

[Aline S. Iniestra]

Wow, was a beautiful read for sure. Loved the 2-line stanzas, the felings, the rhythm. The end was outstanding. Wonderful job. :)

[Brette Medb]

Such torment and struggle between thought and feeling. You described the emotions brilliantly. Wonderful write.


B

[Eile MacIntyre]

I loved how as I read, the beginning was this strong and determined voice. But as the lines went by the voice began to cry out the words in a more desperate sound. Until the end, all it was, was sad.

Beautiful and sad.

[Nyida Strong]

The back an forth thoughts between "save me" and "let me die" are ones any soul who has contemplated suicide can empathize with. Once that idea of suicide enters the brain its like a bad song you can't get rid of. Its there till something is done. I know that battle and well done for placing it into words.

N. Strong

[Cherrie Palmer]

the battle of pain has been fought and passed to the holder of the note

[Calypso]

You have described suicide and the thoughts that come with it well.

[howlfjdks]

Suicide is permanent. There is no changing your mind after it is done. Suicide is not an option, there is all kinds of pain, that only time can heal. This subject is not spoken of enough, I appreciate you vocalizing this.

[Coyote Poetry]

Suicide is a touchy subject with me. I was born mean and stubborn. To kill myself would profit people who do not desire my voice and life around. Poem is direct and with purpose. I tell people. If your life is lousy and you don't like it . Move.
"To save me from my reflection, save me from this cage
Be my knight, my right arm and protect me with rage"
Rage should be the purpose to stay alive. Dead people are remembered rarely.
A excellent poem. You made me think.
Coyote

[M.Kilani]

Good God !! this is a true piece of art !! I loved the change of plot you did specially at the end, the flow was amazing, and the story line was interesting, but there were few typos "sward = sword" and "loose = lose" plus if you use some punctuation it would be perfect !!
well done ... well done !!