Flame-less nightmare

Leave it for you to describe

Anathema, yes I now believe its a curse
For whenever words plead,I murder the verses

No more hiding, tonight I confess
I've lost the will,I became heartless

Perhaps few more drops of ink and another bottle of whine
Rather an aching mind that hungers to shine

Few more sighs to smoke with corpses of night 
Another dance to the symphony of black and white

Around the fire of who I am, who I never aimed to be
Burning the innocence of poems that now pay the fee

Surrendering to the power of the rhyming flames
That dominates my heart and my soul it tames 

Ashes of my world, liberate among the air
Unleashing colors, a new kingdom they declare 

Rage, they silence, for my duty I've served well
No longer I exist in this picture, my soul is theirs to kill

Judgment day, I've waited centuries for your justice 
In the gaol of my mission, counting down every Augustus

Yet I ponder sympathy through this jury
Fear paralyzes me and I begin to worry

Dear lord, many lives I've vanquished to please my own
This sick desire seems to be all I've ever known

It is time for me to taste the bitter of my poison 
For I am nothing but clay, not a demon that needs exorcism

So mercy don't have upon my soul 
Strangle me so I can have a reason to stand tall

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Wow, this knocked me over. It's dark and punches you right in the face. Like a wake up call to justice.

'Ashes of my world, liberate among the air
Unleashing colors, a new kingdom they declare'

Like all of it, but that's my favorite, Nice read.

[Yasmin]

Thank you
I'm glad you think so :)
I appreciate your review

[Salem]

Im glad I read this poem, its really awesome and well written. and surly goes to my fav.

[Miss Owl]

I like this piece of writing. To me it felt as if the person had done so many things they thought bad/evil/dark and the guilt was eating at them. Since they don't believe in a Higher God of any sort they don't want forgiveness or justice just a taste of what they had been handing out. You invited the reader to describe it and this is how I describe your impressive poem.

[Van!ty]

Thank you so much for reading my poem. I've read through several of yours and you really have a way with words. Truly beautiful writing. :)

[Yasmin]

You are most welcomed and it is an honer I hope you enjoyed them
Thank you for dropping by

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Bottle of whine, I love that! Well done with the double entendre! By the way, this is just an opinion, but while you don't HAVE to make it rhyme, the first stanza could end with "verse," because as I understand it, grammatically the word verse can be both singular or plural. That means you could drop the "s" and make it rhyme perfectly, if you wanted to. I don't know if it makes a difference in meaning to you though. I like how in this poem you are both referencing hanging out and smoking outside (seemingly) and sitting around a bonfire with friends (possibly...the corpses?), but you have fully integrated this into your overall theme. Even seen the movie "Hidden Fortress" by Akira Kurosawa? There is a scene like this in that movie. It is one of my favorite movies from my favorite director. If you haven't seen it you should go out of your way to. George Lucas fully admits it was his inspiration for Star Wars, but it is a samurai movie with a very original theme. It perfectly matches your imagery in one scene. Your "aching to shine" is always a thing that endears me to a poem. Striving I think is beautiful, no matter what level of proficiency you are at. What do you mean by "poems that pay the fee?" I didn't get that one. What fee? Also, in the sixth stanza, why not "my soul tames," instead of "my soul it tames?" I love how you describe the ashes as liberating. I love bonfires. Ah, you spell jail, gaol. Must be in jolly ol' England, or Australia or some such place, aye? Maybe just using the British spelling...I don't know. I only know that spelling from living in England myself. Americans don't use it. Birthday in August? The ending is rather unexpected, but a unique take. Kind of apocalyptic. You know though, apocalypse has another meaning less well known: The revealing of knowledge and the gaining of truth, perspective. Not necessarily judgement day. An apokalypsus can happen within a dream or through epiphany. There need be no death or destruction (I am talking in terms of linguistics not belief). I hope you don't actually mean you have vanquished lives (in any sense of that term, linguistically). Overall this is a very powerful poem. It makes me feel all this very personally and very well.

[VelvetRosetta]

Very nice flow in your wording here, a tad dark and intense. I like that. Heartless is something I have felt to be at times, though I am not, certain situations can make you feel as such if even for a short time. Great write!

[Yasmin]

Thank you
I am very glad that you liked it even more that you can relate I have written this long time ago I had to read the poem all over again to comment back :P
Thanks again

[VelvetRosetta]

lol has happened to me also, no worries. And you are welcome...you have a unique way of writing.

[Yasmin]

I am going to consider unique as a complement

[VelvetRosetta]

It is! Unique is different, Its wonderful...

[Baban.A.A]

well I read and usually angle it in the way I want to. I trust the fundemental point lying within the lines is conscious because the only thing makes you feel to be unblessed and disgrace is your conscious. unfortunately, we as humans, despite having many precious things, materially, but lost the most precious of all, conscious. without which we are no better than evil, without which we are accursed souls. I now trust it is a test from God to show us how crul and barbarian we can be if it is not for His will. we have to pray that God still loves us , humans, because we now closely approached the far border and limits of being human, and one more step we will be as evil as Satan can be. thanks and well written

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write...:)

[Sethnicity]

Nice! You really gained some steam as you scripted through this poem. I feel like you free flowed this together and that in it's self is a skill to be admired. Keep it up and by any means whatever keeps you inspired.

I feel like this was the strongest set of couplets in the poem.

"Perhaps few more drops of ink and another bottle of whine
Rather an aching mind that hungers to shine

Few more sighs to smoke with corpses of night
Another dance to the symphony of black and white

Around the fire of who I am, who I never aimed to be
Burning the innocence of poems that now pay the fee"

This really grabbed me.

[Zap-the-awesome]

Well written. I really can't think of much else to say

[Yasmin]

That's fine by me :D
Thanks for reading

[Zap-the-awesome]

Anytime

[Malcolmveli]

" Perhaps few more drops of ink and another bottle of whine
Rather an aching mind that hungers to shine" - Woooooooow

I really liked reading this. I really have an appreciation for your style. You have sort of like a Hip Hop swag like a delivery that One can just feel . I just love your delivery in all of your poems that I've read. Keep up the good work .

[Yasmin]

I'm glad you've enjoyed reading this and I'm overwhelmed that you like it
Thank you for the review