The White Lady's Lament

 

You turn from me toward the Paths of the Dead.

Now pass all my hopes into darkness.

You leave me so little, not even a glance,

only your pity and kindness,

 

the touch of your lips upon my hand,

the cup that you pressed them to freely

And I, shieldmaiden, the king=s own sister-daughter

am somehow unworthy of thee.

 

What secret, what mystery calls you away

down the path you will not let me follow?

I would have ridden that road would you have had me

and dared the dead to part us.

 

How is it you are not meant for me?

Your eyes clear grey, so like mine.

Long years you have spent in wandering the world,

long years have I waited for freedom.

Yet you turn me away, speaking only of duty

and I fear I shall ever be waiting.

 

Now from the east stretches the shadow;

is this the darkness that clutches my heart?

That whispers leave hope behind

and take up the sword, ride out

to what fate will bring thee..

 

For whatever comes, shadow or light,

you will ever be lost to me.                   

 

 

Reviews

[Shane]

I like the overall thematic tone. It sets the concept in a setting very well. I can't critize it much if only to say, as a general rule, people find third parties more interesting. I personally have written several poems that are first person perspective but I found that to me, even my own writings seemed...boring. Do NOT misinterpret though I really liked it. I just think maybe if you create your poetry in a third person perspective it would better flesh out you concept. Just a thought. Shane

[Jack Frost]

absolutly loved it ;P

[A Season In Hell]

I want to start out on commenting on the first line of the first stanza "You turn from me towards the Paths of the Dead" I enjoy this because he is literally turning to the Paths of the Dead. No matter what he does he is going to die, as do all mortal beings.

In the fourth line of that same stanza I wonder about the pity and kindness. Pity seems cold but kindness seems sweet and in the line before, it seems as though he has detached himself from her.

In the next stanza the last line she seems not able to see that the reason she is being left is because he doesn�t want to pain her. He loves her enough to leave. Tragic and bittersweet at the same time she does not realize the extent of his love.

In the third stanza I am really interested in her courage to "dare the dead to part us" it seems that she is so in love that she would allow her heart to break and never heal again. It seems so courageous.

And yet so sad.

Fourth stanza fourth line I ponder what it means when she�s waiting for freedom. I could interpret several ways one being that she wants to free herself from her duties as a queen or as she wants to free herself from the desire she has for her love in finally being with him.

Nice Poem. Thank you.

-A 15 year-old female from Battleground, WA