Chapter 1; Unpacking

ordinarily, each chapter should be 1000 words but the first chapter is only 964 words, I didn't want to reveal too much too fast, enjoy!

Bent over, knock-kneed, hauling several dense, bulky cardboard boxes that were filled with such youthful memories and purity.He rummaged through the ochre-tinged, black and white prints.pressing his thumb over the edges of the photographs, attempting to issue no imprint or stain. "Mateo... gazing at the pictures I see," Mother spoke with a subtle sigh as she waltzed her way over to her son, retiring an arm on his shoulder.No reply was voiced by the young lad, profoundly staring at the three familiar figures.Mother, father, and son gathered around the freshly painted patio.His thin lips curled into a smirk, carried back to that day and the lingering strong stench of wet varnish.After parting to his bedroom, he flopped onto the now wrinkled bedsheets, that were once pristine before his arrival.Mateo wriggled his long muscular physique under the thin duvet covers and stared mischievously at his ceiling, thinking of the new day to come.what would await? possibly a new friendship group of guys with the same fitness aspirations who he could joke around with.possibly a reasonable good looking woman, in which he could spend weekends and nights nestled up on the sofa together.His expectations were higher than big ben or at least that's what his mother would always gossip to her fellow friends and of course, the lady across the road who had a boy older than mateo. Truest enemies in unlikely situations.Mother would always gloat about how well he would do in succeeding life.Lawyer, Doctor, vet, and manager, those were all the professions that mother would except mateo would achieve if he just let the athletics drift to the side. Mateo in his green plaid pyjama set, chuckled to himself at the thought of him pursuing any one of those 'proper' professions.To him, the only things that were ever considered were a physical education teacher and a professional trainer.Both professions would include hours of exercise and socialisation, Mateo's strongest qualities. mateo was a well-built boy, short cut brown hair which was crinkled like beach waves and he had the most catching brown eyes, so rich that even soil looked unsaturated with colour.Now as you could probably guess the reason why mateo had to move is because he was a special boy, across his face, painted like a mask was a birth mark. mateo would always be wishing it wasn't so obvious since it was one of the contributing factors to his recent relocation. It was his father's idea to move, great working opportunity in the police department and a new school for mateo. As all his thoughts were rendering him into a deep slumber, he buried himself into his pillows and softly drifted into a silent but peaceful sleep."MATEO MAURICE WHITTLOCK!!! SCHOOL" shrieked Mrs.whittlock in the early hours of the morning. Mateo's head rang to the feared sound of his mother's voice echoing through the corridors upstairs.Mateo belted out of bed and ran to the lavatory, cleaning his teeth viciously whilst floundering around his steamy shower. Twizzling a white towel around his waist and lower half of his body, he turned off the jetted shower head. wiping the condensation of the petite circle mirror in the lavatory.Back in his bedroom, clearing off any exes water droplets off his athletic build with his damp white tower from earlier.In deep panic, Mateo slung on a loose olive top, dark brown camel coat and a loose pair of black jean with his signature pale mint beanie. staggering downstairs and shoving a pop tart in his mouth, he accompanied his mother towards the door placing his tattered black converse pumps over his size 9 feet.  whilst his mother unlocked the door, he brushed up in front of the large mirror by the entrance . "ready?" she inquired as he gritted his teeth with a smile and short nod. They leapt into the front seats of his mother's alpine white BMW M5.it was only a short drive, he'd estimate about 20 mins at most. driving. A long silent drive, his nerves creeping up the closer school is located. He mutters under his breath," its hard, its possible, its necessary and its worth it.  if its possible I can do it."Those words of wisdom that his father once spoke when in intensive care after a bullet to the chest. Those words of pure hope turned his nerves to nerves of steel, unbreakable.soon before he acknowledged it, he was booted out his mother's vehicle at the school's entrance. staring, at the large white painted building about 4 storeys high filled with pristine modern windows and large scale lush greenery.After an hour of painstakingly long chats about rules and first impressions, the headmistress Mrs Eleanor Lawney allowed Mateo to join second class with Mr Mario, business. walking down the twisting corridors with numerous wooden doors leading to thousands of different class, teachers and students. Entering through the tall oak frame revealed a class sat, unengaged with Mr.mario at his desk reading out laws of Propaganda. shuffling to the back of the class he sat at his desk, next to a ginger girl with large round opticals. After a quick introduction, he found out his first acquiescence was known as Julia. staring at the interactive whiteboard, a girl caught his eye. A girl with shoulder length black hair, and a full fringe covering her forehead, revealing vibrant blue eyes - deeper than the ocean, a cute upturned nose and a blush type coloured pair of full lips. Not knowing her name, made his gaze more intense hoping he could slightly skim the front of her book ready to introduce himself prepared.

Author's Note

Please leave a review as this is my first chapter i would love tips and opinions !!! Constructive criticism needed urgently!!

Reviews

[emipoemi]

if conscrit you want, conscrit you'll get......but you first should polish up the punctuation and presentation of the piece, for it's a bit hard to read at times.

Also, for starters, the main verb of the first sentence doesn't appear until the beginning of the second sentence......that's not good. Anyway, message me when you've polished this up a bit so it's easier to read and I will take my red pen to it (if your other two chapters read similarly, you might consider polishing those up too, and all peruse all three and give you my overall critique). Sound good?

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Very descriptive
I love it