Pointless

ficton

You are just there.

Sitting, waiting, yearning.

Yearning for the new.

Yearning for the old.

 

There is nothing you can do.

Helpless.

No, Not helpless.

Pointless.

There is not point to what you do.

You wake up and perform the same tasks everyday.

Knowing the past is done and over.

But fearing the future and the change it brings.

 

So you wait.

Doing your daily dance and jig.

Over and over.

Your mundane life,

Flows from day to day.

Almost unaware of the change in time.

 

It's over,

I guess I will just wait it out.

Like every other sad sack.

Sleep, Work, Home, Sleep, Work, Home.

 

I am just here.

Reviews

[Brandon]

this is really good, it makes me think of how every day just feels exactly the same and youre always just stuck. If thats what youre going for you capture it well.

[Ashley]

i know the feeling so well. your two lines about past and fearing the future used to define my life. i agree with the previous review, this poem feels empty. it feels intensely lonely and sad...but i imagine that is what you were hoping to achieve and i think you did so brilliantly. it took me immediately back to a feeling of pointlessness. very well crafted piece.

[The Perfectionist]

You have a 'not' where you want a 'no' in there. Also, jig is a strange word. Not sure if you want to keep that.

The title sums this poem up pretty well. It feels pretty pointless (as does reviewing it), but I think that empty sense might have been exactly what you were going for. It was certainly interesting to have that feeling of apathy instilled so strongly in me without dislike coming along with it.

In case it's not clear, that's a compliment. Change the two things I mentioned at the top and nothing else. Well done.