Rain Rain Stay

A trip to someone who just wants to help.

I sit on the chair. Comfortable. The seat, not the situation. The situation makes me feel like a book. A locked book. She wants my secrets. i can’t give them to her. Must stay silent. No one must know

Our little secret.

That’s what he says.

She’s staring at me. Why? What is she waiting for? I haven’t talked about it yet. Why would she think that I’ll think about it now? She opens her mouth. Words come out. I hear them. They’re not comprehensible. Three words. How are you?

A question. Must not answer. He enters the room. Must stay silent.

Tell her nothing.

I will not disappoint him. She’ll say I’m mad. Maybe I am.

You’re not mad. Just sad.

Patter Patter.

The rain. It’s raining outside. He must be sad. It does that when he’s sad. Rain I mean. He sits down next to her on the couch opposite me. Is he taunting me? No he would never.

She calls my name.

Doesn’t she understand that I’m not talking? I thought non-moving lips meant silence. He’s making gestures now. Giving her horns and showing vulgar fingers. He’s smiling. I can’t help but smile.

She thinks I’m smiling at her. She doesn’t seem to notice him there.

She calls my name again. He nodds.

Yes?

He smiles. He puts his index finger to his lips.

She seems relieved. I’m confused. Does he want me to tell her?

He shakes his head. No.

Tell her nothing.

But he smiled. He never smiled, unless we’re alone. But we are not alone. She’s here.

Her mouth opens. Words. I understand them now.

Why are you here?

They sent me.

Who are they?

I spoke out loud. He is still smiling. Sad smiling.

They say I’m mad.

But I’m just lonely. He smiles wider. I smile too.

Tell me about it. Why do they say you’re mad?

They don’t like me. They look at me funny. Especially when he’s around. They don’t like him.

They liked us. Once.

What happened then?

My thoughts are escaping. How?

He is shifting in his seat. He doesn’t like how she’s making me anxious. I want him next to me. But that’s not allowed. They knew it wasn’t allowed. Maybe that’s why they didn’t like him.

Who’s he?

I stare at her. Can she read my thoughts? Am I speaking?

They did say i was mad.

Not mad.

His voice. His velvety voice. I feel better. She calls my name again. He nods.

He never said I was mad.

He is kind. She scribbles on her notepad.

Is he a colleague?

I shook my head. Something is on his cheek. Glitter?

Tears.

My cheeks are damp. Am I crying too?

Do you need a tissue?

I take the box of tissues from her outstretched hand. I wipe away the tears.

Who is he?

He has a tissue too. I haven’t seen him cry since we watched Toy Story 3 together. We both smiled at that memory.

My best friend.

What’s his name?

No. Mustn’t speak. Said too much. He shakes his head. I tilt my head like a confused animal. He nods

Trevor.

He stands up. He walks to me. He sits on my chair’s right armrest. He puts his hand on mine.

Where does Trevor live?

Nowhere.

Not around here.

The rain is pouring more heavily than earlier. There will be puddles later.

We used to play in puddles.

In our yellow and red wellies. We had bought them especially.

You and Trevor?

I nod.

Where is Trevor now?

Can’t she see him?

He squeezes my hand. His hand is freezing. He should’ve worn the gloves I bought him for Christmas.

What does he do?

Nothing.

He loves me. He kisses my head.

Where is Trevor now?

Can’t she see him? Why is she asking me again? Can’t she see him? He’s right next to me.

Right here. There are tears on my face again. Why am I crying? I look to my right. I want to see his smile. I’ll stop crying if I see his smile. He’s not on the armrest.

He’s gone.

Where has he gone? He must still be in the room. He never leaves me.

Why is he gone?

I can’t see him. No. I see him. He’s right there by the window. He likes the rain when he’s sad. It makes him feel happy. That’s what he says. He’s not happy now though. He’s crying. Silent crying.

Just sad.

Why is he gone?

He nods.

He’s dead.

I look to the window again. He’s gone.

The rain stops.

Author's Note

Do the short sentences work for you?