In Search of Human Nature

I like cliff diving, this is my description of the thrill.

The sun is the mightiest of all gods, who rules the summer months. Sweat pours down the back of your neck, a reminder that you are at the mercy of the summer. Your feet are burning, on fire, begging for the sweet release of cold water. You can feel the Earth underneath you. Each step towards the edge increases the beating of your heart. The closer you get to the cliffs end, the urge to scurry away and get back to safety grows stronger. The lake you see is a blend of darkness and light, greens and blues, and wants and uncertainties. The ground is stable, and familiar, while the water is deep and alien to you. Why would you choose to leave the comfort of land, for only a promise of pleasant feelings? Because your body wants it.

 This unknown force, a force that pleads you to leap, pulls you towards the waves. Your imagination starts wandering into dangerous territory, and fear creeps along your veins. From your toes, to your ears, whispers of anxiety flood your mind.

                You fear for your body, the instinctual desire to survive. In the common world, and how we live our day to day lives, we never feel the rush of panic. Those fiery urges to survive,  as dangers corner you for the attack. We live behind white picket fences, with locked doors, and far away from our past. We no longer hunt, we no longer gather and we no longer work. We cannot deny our bodies the thrill of fear. Although we have adapted to only feeling true human nature on rare occasions, somewhere in our minds we want to break the bubble we are entrapped in. You are coddled, and you have been protected from harm’s way. You have had antibacterial soap slathered on you since birth. You have been served three meals a day on a floral tablecloth. You were taught to talk, walk, eat, and act acceptably in public. The stepping stones to development were laid out for you, like a path. Growing into adulthood wasn't a mountain you had to climb, with strength and perseverance. It was a lazy stroll in the garden. . This is the driving force that causes you to jump. You are one individual, in search of a thrill.

                At the top of that cliff, you challenge the sun, and the heat, and the summer. You stand erect, completely raw and human. You scream at the blistering rays of sunshine “I serve no one. I don’t serve the rain, or the snow, or your heat. No species can control me, and no species would dare. I laugh at peril, I chuckle at hazards, and I scoff at your pitiful attempts to render my body helpless. I am human, fear me”

And then you jump.            

Reviews

[Stanley King]

A true work of art indeed!

[Brandon Wilson]

" I am human, fear me" Got some goosebumps on that last little bit there.

[Sarah]

This is awesome! I loved the short sentences at the begging - they helped with the intensity of starting the scene. Super intense and captivating!
I thought your choice to keep it in second person was powerful and really pulls the reader into the piece. Halfway through the third paragraph 'you' starts to become 'we' but then back to 'you.' It would be interesting to have a more defined shift from you to we, because I think that shift is super powerful and helps deepen the piece in the sense that this is 'your' experience (at the beginning) and then it shifts to 'we' are all in this together (at the middle - when everyone is nurtured to adulthood) and then back to 'your' experience to jumping off the cliff.
Your perspective on human nature was so interesting and something I had never considered before. Thank you for sharing this!

[Mikael Malmberg]

I found this very inspiring to read. Well written for the most part, and despite I saw some few punctuation things here and there that could be better, it's still a good story. This text brought a new, if just a little short-lived, spring into my frozen and cold heart. Thank you.

[Nicole Kristen Marino]

Yeah, I really need to edit that, but thank you for the compliment haha

[Mikael Malmberg]

No problem here. I might check out your poems, too, although that would have to be some time later.

If you're interested, you could review a chapter I wrote. It's called "His Room", and I'd really appreciate the feedback.

Now, though, is a high time for me to call it quits for today. It's been a pleasure reviewing your story and talking with you. Make sure to check that chapter out. And please do not be horrified by my amateurish writing.

[Kyle SP]

Ferociously written with bold opinion and intelligent understanding of the human race. I liked it.

[Nicole Kristen Marino]

thank you so much :D