My biggest 'secret' of 2012... felt so good to get this out.
Force yourself upon me,
take me once more.
My "NO" went unheard,
as you seized power over me.
No... MINE.
As I lay sleeping,
Your hands started to roam;
First to my breasts, then to my sides.
Woken by your touch,
I just lay there,
pretending to sleep.
Your hands inched lower,
my pants were pulled down...
Still pretending to be asleep,
I rolled over, blocking your access again.
Frustrated, you packed your things,
Walked right out the door.
Finally able to relax, I slept.
Morning came, no messages from you.
When I asked what happened (as if I didn't know)...
You said it was nothing,
and I wondered what else was kept from me
through the years we've spent together.
Force yourself upon me,
take me one more time.
My "NO" went unseen,
as you seized power over me.
No... MINE.
Besiege my heart, the walls are built.
Respect… gone.
Love… gone.
YOU'RE gone.
This is lovely Nicole. It is lovely because of its honesty. It also made me sad and it made my heart hurt for you (or at least the protagonist). It made me reflect on past relationships. Did I misinterpret, did I misuse my power? I must admit that I have some regrets. What would have happened had I been more sensitive to her feelings and less selfish about mine?
I think great poetry should stimulate such thoughts and feelings. I think this is great poetry. :-)
I am proud of you for opening your heart for this poem.
PS - the line 'my no went unseen' caused me to consider how I would be as your friend. How much more visual and generally sensitive would I be in order to 'see' who you are and understand what you mean? Very intriguing.
I like the flow of the monologue, first i thought RAPE but then its beyond that, This isn't just alluding to sex and just any form of deviant behavior in that wise, rather it speaks about people ding what they want because they feel they can do so when they want to...never reflecting that "the river flows in one direction only"...the last line says it all about what has been lost and may forever not be found again.. Nice Piece.
This appears to be written from the heart. So often sharing our greatest pain gives us power.
I could feel the frustration felt at wanting the "No" to be heard.
Very nicely done.
Tiny nitpick for such an enormous work. Last stanza, "wall" should maybe be "walls"? This is powerful, visceral, emotional all at the same time. I'm sorry you had to live it, but pleased you managed to put the brakes to it.
It makes me sad. This feels like a bad man ... but I am generally pessimistic about love anymore on either side. People only know the take ... never the give. I guess I'm sort of glad I don't run hat race any more. Age has it's upside ... I think.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Oops! It actually is "walls" in the word doc I have it saved in, guess I edited it there but didn't .. read moreOops! It actually is "walls" in the word doc I have it saved in, guess I edited it there but didn't change it on here!
Love puts us through a lot, but I think it's still worth it. One bad egg isn't going to stop me from making an omelet hehe. Thank you for your review :)
A lot of "Ology" words in the profile, no ,mine,gone, good power words well placed, pad life its relationship to us, to you and time is the glue won't let us move on.
That man is a jerk and you deserve someone better than him. Although I know love is still around that corner but why waste your time with a man who don't know what "no" means? I'm just worried about women like you and I think you're more precious than that. I like the flow and the imagery behind this piece of art. Really, it left me feeling like I was the one in the poem and I salute you for letting out your deepest thoughts on this. Really creative! Thanks for sharing!
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you for your review, I wrote this months after I left him =)
"and I wondered what else was kept from me" That line hit me like a ton of bricks... So powerful, so heartbreaking. Under the pen of a lesser writer, this could have been a mere anecdote... You gave it heart, passion, a deep resonance. Love the repetitions of "NO", of "MINE" ... And of course, at the end, all is gone... but these beautiful words remain. Well done!
She is a Deaf Canadian currently studying abroad in Washington, DC and enjoying all that the experience has to offer. A sociology major, with a concentration in criminology, getting a glimpse at the i.. more..