snooze

early morning lunacy

Today started like any other weekday morning,
maybe a little worse, since it was a Monday morning.

At 6am, right on schedule as always, my alarm clock
ruined any dreams I could have been enjoying,
even though now, I can not recall what they were.

I have never trusted alarm clocks.
I feel uneasy waking up at night catching
red numbers monitoring my sleeping habits,

or those awful timed crows,
abrupt, cold, and mocking,
that no pillow can smother,

but the worst is that button
they all come equipped with,
when you need just a little more sleep,
or want to stall a morning shower
and like any good dealer
they ration out four or five minutes,
just enough for instant satisfaction.
just enough for it to become a habit.

Its easy to spot people
who are addicted to the snooze button
because they are always running late.

The girls putting their make-up in cars.
The guys that bounce, sigh, and check
their watches in fast food breakfast lines.

I have been hooked since high school.



(Whispering)

I really think that, and mind you,
I have nothing definitive yet,
but I have hunch, and when I say hunch
I mean a gnawing gassy gut suspicion,
that alarm clocks have been and continue
to steal our dreams, at the very least,
take all the good ones for themselves,
leave us scraps of the strange and nightmarish.

I find that those are the only ones
that people seem to remember anyhow.

Now, like I said, I have no hard evidence
to announce publicly such a claim,
or the reasons why they do it.

Is there a good dream black market?
Back alley transactions with well dressed men
in dark glasses that drive dark sedans
swapping metal suitcases.

What is the street value of a good dream?
How about sex dreams?
Would they cost more?

I personally fear a more sinister plot,
maybe alarm clocks might be eating our dreams,
whether for nourishment or for some euphoria,
I can only speculate.

I guess the only way to prove this theory
of nocturnal piracy would be to catch them in the act.

Now, I am, by society's guidelines,
a capable, semi-healthy,
somewhat good and decent person,
but I am not a morning person.

I would be too groggy and slowed
by morning breath,
eye crust,
and that first, loud and yellow,
almost orgasmic urination of the day,
which happens to be,
just long enough for an alarm clock
to make the perfect getaway.

Time moves fast,
every year goes by just a little faster
than the last.
Time flies.

I know it will take careful planning,
a little luck, and the cashing in
on a few favors owed.

I know a guy who knows a guy
that owns a bed and breakfast
and became friends with a guy
that came into wealth
by pulling his own teeth
and fell in love with his a tooth fairy
that worked in Northern Missouri
with a Sandman and Bogeyman.
So things are in motion.
I just hope its not too late.