How I want to let go

 

 

 

How I want to let go.

 

 

This is not healthy I need some relevance, I need something to distract me form this all consuming love, from this vile wretched thing that has gripped me tightly, so firmly that I think I may suffocate in its forceful hold, and perhaps that type of death could free me from its control, returning me to my days of merriment and absolute indifference.

 

And I find it hard to speak your name to look upon your picture that is tainted with your beautiful face. You have ensnared me in your pool of mysterious delights and I try not to swim up but drown myself further in what can only be described as an enchanting adventure into the depths unknown, into your essence I vicariously flow.

 

But I need to go now I need to be freed you are many miles away being happy with those you care so much more about while I sit at home around a computer trying to let these feelings out. And I don’t know what it is that I truly feel for you, you push me to the point of anger you invoke a rage so monstrous and at the same time you soften my callous bitter ways with just one look of that sweet penetrating smile. In your presence I can only submit, you are all that captivates me and I don’t know how it came to this.

 

I can no longer dream dreams that idle by my minds periphery instead now they delve into the depth of the very lust that I cannot contain. Thoughts of you afflict me intensely and purposefully and I wish for them to cease now before I lose myself to their wicked ways.

 

My artfully written words will remain here wasted for this is mine to bear alone, for you could never understand the words that surge from a soul that is in a constant state of battle. Your physical self cannot dear hope to reach the omnipotence of a description laid down in metaphorical stone, you are stunted in a magnificence created and sealed in words that leave not this page but exist merely for the purpose to sustain your otherworldly image to satisfy my concept of you, the part that will truly never die, the part that will always, here remain.