Man's "Nature"

 

What is the driving force within any and every man? What are his motivations for doing any and everything? What separates us women from “them”, him and they? Are we all indeed created equally or is there a baser instinct inculcated in some not the whole?

 

 

 

 

 

We all would like to believe that some how the oppositions of the sexes will miraculously unite us in creating perfect and stable unions. We are as women raised to believe that we should find a mate, we should want him to be our one and only, and we should all be in desirous of domestication, stable and ready to settle into the habit of marriage or rearing a man and his children. We are nothing, a fraction awaiting a man to rescue us from becoming the dreaded “old maid”, of course, this is never applied to a man despite the progressive nature of our generation. Hence, we are expected to be in a constant search for love and stability.

 

 

 

 

With this set equation laid out for the majority of regular and somewhat willing women the question of which men and how becomes problematic. In that, yes, we are expected to find love but with who? Literally it should be a man but in all honesty how and why?

 

 

 

 

A man, as far as can really be observed, generally does not view love as finding the perfect girl but instead finding dozens of girls in the range of “perfect” to flat out horrible. Meaning, a man, let us say for argument sake, will find a perfect woman, possibly marry her and cheat on her for the rest of his virile or less impotent days. Now, therein lies the problem. The woman is told to love and cherish her man while the man is just not going to follow that pattern, thus, the conception of unhappy marriages where the woman feels unappreciated and where the man really doesn’t care. So again I ask the question why and how? How does a woman find that perfect someone who will love and cherish her? For the lucky few they will find a man who will not have the wandering eye, however rare, but a large percentage will not. What should they do? Remain single.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, remain single. When you’re single you never have to worry the way a wife worries, you won’t be the one having to be there in times of ailment and death and you’ll be free and unburdened from delegated duties like cleaning up after him. So then what’s the problem, the problem is many of us still want children but care too much of what society thinks about what it means to be an unwed mother. However with the divorce rates getting higher and men in general not taking responsibility for their offspring you’re probably better of just going it alone from the initial point whether by  adoption, insemination or a willing live donor. 

 

 

 

 

But being single is not all it is cracked up to be because of course you will possibly want for carnal pleasure every now and again. Therefore we have nice noncommittal relationships which should be less o f a hassle. However, the problem begins with the overall inability for men to communicate with women about what they want and what there expectations if any are.

 

 

 

 

 

The first scenario could be a fling or let us say a one night stand in this case if it begins as casually as it ends no friendship, just one night of sex with a stranger then there is overtly no problem because in this instance sex is the only element necessary for this kind of communication. However if he makes the mistake of having sex with a close friend or someone he is in close association with, the communication stalemate begins. See even though many will pretend sex doesn’t matter it does. The woman if forewarned either by the mere fact she is with a stranger she has no intention to see again or by the man who is open enough to just admit it is just a one time thing instead of spewing some stupid story about his longing for her, then everyone is fine. After all, a woman sometimes desires the rush of a passionate fling that does not lead to the encumbrance of heartache or the uncommunicative man. A man will argue that it is the woman who creates the problem thus he has to say what she wishes to hear. Not so, yes some women are idealistic and believe in the declaration of love, however, the majority aren’t and despite their yen for someone to love them they regard honesty as the greatest asset a man can have. Therefore telling a woman you love her just to desert her the next morning is extremely cruel and stupid because not only will it hurt her but if it is, let us say, a woman you know, you may just have found some unnecessary opening for some form of wrath and strife to enter your sphere. And of course because of the realistic approach many of us take to life saying you love her rather quickly and spontaneously before trying to get her into bed will stop you dead in your devious tracks. It will amuse some who will think you are stupid and not worth their time, or it will flat out infuriate her in which case just leave or walk away. However many times the problem is not a false declaration so much as most men’s incapacity to be upfront.

 

 

 

 

The second circumstance is one which is not in a large sense an idyllic relationship but, let us say, a friend with benefits theme. In this setting the woman and man will have their conversations by phone, see each other occasionally and ensure that each time it should in some way bring some fervour and variety to the regular rather mundane workings of everyday life. So they begin a routine. However, it sometimes goes sour ending on a not so amicable note.

 

 

• The man’s ego tells him she is getting attached (totally unwarranted of course because she is in it for pure pleasure.)
• The man becomes possessive dear I say attached, again because of his ego. Hence he does not want her to see other men or even speak to other men while he continues his wandering.

One could say, “but why doesn’t he just ask her what she expects what she desires?” Well I have a theory and it dictates that a man has an equally hard time expressing himself to a female as he does understanding anything a female says. If she says lets just be friends, it means he still has a chance and she is probably playing hard to get when in reality she is letting him down easily. Or if she says I am ok with you doing your thing I’ll do mine; she is falling in love with him he needs to run now, when in actuality she is just having her fun for now. Or a friend picked me up from work; she is sleeping with someone else he needs to subdue her, which in reality means it may just be her friend or actually someone else she is having sex with but guess what you are not married to her,  you have other women, hence  she is not yours to control.

 

 

 

 

All this miscommunication and misunderstanding stems from a man’s main motivation his oversized ego. He doesn’t just have sex for pure pleasure but in essence also for how he will look to his peers especially if he conquers an impressive item. Thus in the latter scenario he will always assume wrong when the woman is direct. Or he will become jealous and possessive because he inwardly desires her loyalty. When he finally achieves her loyalty he will trample it like a paper aeroplane landing in a stampede of elephants. A man desires a woman who is with someone else merely because of his innate competitive nature and because it gives him a greater feeling of accomplishment when he is able to win her over, subdue her then leave her. Hence establishing the irony within all men; when they want something that they can’t have they try for it once they get it they no longer want it; displaying the attention span of a 2 year old child. They want your affection and will try for it, once they have it they become uncaring and complacent awaiting another target to beget.

 

 

 

 

Men are truly predictable creatures. They generally lack true compassion in relationships yet they argue that women are never easily understood. They desire sex but most of all gratification. For a man a woman’s job is his physical gratification. He will hold on to her once it suits his ego and quickly let go if she does not entirely meet his strange and curious standards.  

 

Author's Note

Ok, So I did some editing but to be honest, editing is best done by someone other than the writer, if there are further mistakes feel free to make notes.

Reviews

[Nykkiicia Cion]

what cynicism! and i totally agree!!! i feel ur resentment thru ur writing which indicates it was written well...there were a few misspelt words here and there, but ill chalk it up to u being in a hurry...just go thru and tidy that part up and ull be fine. Good writing, great topic!

[Damien Dsoul]

That's quite a very insightful work you have into the intricacies of man. I'm sittign here cringing at the same time laughing at recalling just how similar I also am to the words you put in.