Useless.

sdaf

Pillows that you once laid your head on are now stained with love saturated tears, and it’s apparent you’ll never sleep there like you once did.

We change every week, confusion spreading, awkwardness ahead.

I yearn for you, and to know what goes on in your head while I’m debating on telling you every secret I’ve withheld on your behalf.

I sentence myself to sleepless nights, writing at 2 and letting my eyes slowly water as I focus on you, before I drift off to sleep. You’re my best friend, and more than once my lover and you still have that quirky smile that makes me shiver.

We were so close to being together I thought, but now the future is so grim that I can barely stand the thought of Christmas with or without you.

I catch myself praying sometimes, you know.

Talking to any god that will listen without my faith or trust, hoping for a change in your heart that will let you see how deeply I care. I can’t say it because your friendship means too much to me and I am absolved from hurting you.

My love for you is timeless I think, but I want to test it so rigorously that I can’t bear to hold it in any longer. The skin on my bones aches with the temptation to let every honest and eloquent word spill from my lips and put the verbal dagger in my heart. You are everything I’ve ever wanted. I care about you more than anyone I’ve ever seen or thought of.  You’re a thief, stealing my breath and slipping away into the darkness while I sleep.

Your smell never leaves the blankets that I lie awake on for hours, conjuring up ideas to get my message across. But, in words are the only way I could ever be brave enough.

Here it goes, all those eloquent words again that I swore I’d never spit in person.

You are more than those three words we throw around when I see you for the last time in a day.

I am in love with you, and I won’t apologize.

Reviews

[poetic soul]

heart wrenching..... but true, never be sorry for loving someone.......its not insulting the other person, its insulting yo own decision.....lovely stuff.....

:) Smiles,
Poetic Soul

[Joanna Maharis]

This is such a beautiful, heartfelt piece. However, it needs more imagery incorporated into it.