99 Problems (J-Z Parody)

This is my version of Jay-Z's song 99 Problems Hope you like it :) (my rap) lol

I have got problems, Dont feel bad for me

I have 99 problems but you aren't one.

[Verse one]

Roses are red, Violets are blue

I am not going to say whether I hate you

But I will say "Go hang with your Bro's"

I may not be one of your bro's

I'm not one of your hoe's 

Be glad that I'm only taken half of your dough

Forget you man, you're never going to see me that low

If you don't like what i'm saying just play it forward

Your going to be sitting there for sure

I'm going to make you cry for more So

Well, I am going to say you can kiss my glass.

I dare you to make a pass

I don't know what you think of me as

or even understand the intelligence that I have

I'm going from rags to riches don't you feel dumb

I got 99 problems but you aren't one.

Hear me.

[Chorus]

99 problems but you're not one

I may have problems don't feel bad for me hon

I have 99 problems but you're not one

Hear me

[ Verse two]

It was 94 and your power was raw

You had girls fallen off your arms

I have two chances to pull of this smile

Or just start running a mile

I should have known your were fake

Some one should have put you back in your place

So I put on my girlish mode

I heard someone say "Why are you getting with that guy he's poor"

I guess I just went with the flow

Do I know why I am seated here? I dont know

Should I be invested? Should I waste more of my time?

I think I have lost my mind

Probably should have just walked out of the bar

Heck I don't care who you are

Maybe I thought you were legit

He asks "Do you mind if I hang for a bit?"

I should have told him just to go back

He's trying to kiss me I guess I should have expected that

He was even thinking he was going to try something

Guess he thought he was staying until morning

I took him out to his car and helped him sit

Soon enough he's going to need an emergency kit

See how smart he will be when the K-9's come

I have 99 problems and you're not one

Hear me

[Chorus X2]

99 problems but you're not one

I may have problems don't feel bad for me hon

I have 99 problems but you're not one

Hear me

[Verse Three]

Once upon a long time ago maybe too long ago

A girl like me had to get rid of a bro

A bro that was too touchy and to kissey

But he had no sense and didn't listen to me

I tried to ignore him talking was getting to bored

He's going to try his foolish platform

You know the type that likes to sing in the mike

But would be loosing in a bar fight

He really deserves a good slapping

His buddies will be too busy laughing

Going to hear my heels tapping

As I walk out the door again

Going to get my girl dancing again

Everyone is going to have their camera's snapping

D.A. trying to lock him up again

Going to learn how to be snapping

All because he wants to go harassing me

Only making a joke of himself as he's passing

But it doesn't affect me hon

I have 99 problems but knowing your not one

Hear me

[Chorus X3]

99 problems but you're not one

I may have problems don't feel bad for me hon

I have 99 problems but you're not one

Hear me

You're crazy for this one Sally

It's your girl 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Nice flow of words and thoughts. I had to read again for pleasure. I like the use of numbers to strengthen the poem. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[BikerAngie]

QUITE CAPTIVATING! I LIKED IT! I MADE MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT WRITING A SONG WILL POST LATTER BUT I AM ABOUT THE MOST NON-MUSICAL PERSON YOU EVER MEET SO MIGHT BE REALLY BAD!! LOL

[etxcp]

LOL, this is HILARIOUS! :)

[Aka_Kitsune]

woot woot, almost sang along :D nice write

[The White Wolf]

Awww, I love that song :)