Sweetest Kiss

I saw a contest and it said to write a date from the pov for the boy so here is my take on it. Hope you like it.

A sweet kiss to end what was a perfect night.

She, I feel is the one that i want to call mine.

My heart is pounding with the joy I feel.

She is perfect and no one can compare.

Our date started like any other.

I was sweating like a pig waiting for her.

She came down the steps like an angel.

I felt as though we were the only ones in the room.

Clearing my breath finally I said something.

You look simply amazing.

She let out a little giggle and an heart stopping smile.

So off we went to your date.

A simple candle light dinner

Endless chatter and laughs galore.

I thought to my self 

She looks magnificent in this light.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.

We finished our dinner and walked to the car.

She said she loved the dinner.

I let out a smile and a happy feeling came over.

I told her I had a surprise for her.

She looked up and wondered what it could be.

We arrived in a field and laid out was a blanket 

We walked over and watched the stars.

Talking and talking we almost lost track of time.

I took her home and opened her door.

Now is the moment of truth 

Will I get that good night kiss?

She leans in and.......

A sweet kiss to end what was a perfect night.

She, I feel is the one that i want to call mine.

My heart is pounding with the joy I feel.

She is perfect and no one can compare.

Reviews

[Missy Moooooo]

I simply love this

[Persona]

I simply chose yours second rather than first because of the little 'i' in two parts but otherwise liked it. You use English techniques, such as similes which I approve of and try not to be passive in voice. Some wordings are quite awkward "so off we went to your date." Just put things simply. There's a lack of a climax, try describing the kiss after ellipsis rather than leaving it out

[Sky]

I love the simplicity in this piece. The innocence of the beginnings of a love freshly found. The sweet flavor of the first "goodnight kiss". Splendid!

[Brittany]

Awwww....this was so beautiful. I loved it.

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

d'awwwwwwww...

this is a sweet scene in general

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Aww, this is so cute :) Love it! Great job!!

[Angelic Surrender]

Beautiful :) Great work

[Megan]

I really like how the last stanza is the same as the first stanza! It really gives a nice finish to a poem with a very romantic and cute subject :)

[Aianarie (INACTIVE)]

Very sweet and entertaining! I think you write well from a boy's POV. He seems cute and amusing. :-)

[Michael X]

a kiss to end, yet start a new beginning, the feeling of romance is classic,
admiration to a backdrop of classy desire, when love becomes the motive
anything is possible, you create the moment of bliss and leave the
reader seeing stars, I loved it :)