I ain't got nobody (Tanka #2)

Tanka number 2. What do you think??

                           

Ignored like the plague 

Feeling unwanted, alone

Depression setting  

Hiding underneath lonely

Pain growing uncontrollable 

Author's Note

Tanka -a Japanese poem consisting of 31 syllables in 5 lines, with 5 syllables in the first and third lines and 7 in the others.

Tanka dates back over 1200 years.

Reviews

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
You are doing quite will with the Tanka then. That would be too much math and structure for me to follow I think. :)

As for your Tanka, it is a black teabag steeped in depression and misery.
I hope this is what you were seeking to achieve.

[Rabbi Tzephanyah Ben Yo..]

Short and Deep, a Mysteriously Sorrowed write

[Robyn]

Short, simple, deep adn yet you can feel just a bit of the pain coming from it. Nicely done!

[Krista Weiss]

Wow!! I really love this poem!! It's really great! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A well written Tanka. I like the use of the artwork to strengthen the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Ranger Nadaly]

Good poem. Reread though, have some errors with spelling and spacing.