End of the Day: Continue, Redo, or Restart?

So, I was exploring reddit and found this writing prompt about how a person has to choose to continue his life, retry the previous day, or restart life every day. It has just been your worst day.

End of the Day: Continue, Redo, or Restart?

            Another day ending and another sun setting. For all anyone knew, it could be the last they see it in this life. Any day could be somebody’s last day, if they so wished it. Maybe something happened to where life wasn’t treating them right, kicking them to the curb or just throwing them into the pile of trash labeled: REJECTS. Possibly, someone had just committed an act so atrocious, so haunting, that they just couldn’t live with it, so they would try again. Not for Nick, though.

            Life hadn’t forgotten about him. In fact, he was one of the luckiest men alive, growing up in a great family and learning values that would make him the respected man he was today. He had all anybody could ask for: a house, a job, a family, and, most importantly, a life. As well, he never committed any terrible wrong doing to his fellow man. He had no reason to, it would go against his morals and who he really was. No, none of this happened to this man named Nick. What happened to him was worse than all of this.

            You could pick yourself up from life throwing you around. You could learn to forgive yourself for committing any crimes against humanity, as could humanity possibly learn to forgive you. Hell, you could even redo the day either of these happened and hope that something would change it. What you couldn’t do, however, was bring a person back from the brink of death.

            For days now, Nick had been battling with himself to declare to the world if he would continue on with his life and live with the disease that would inevitably kill his love. Or, if he would just redo the day, putting her into a loop that would keep her forever alive and them forever together. Or, if he would just end it all and restart his life, going back to the very beginning when he was born, back to first minute of his life and hope that he would make different choices. Those were his options: continue, redo, or restart.

            Every night he would weigh the options laid out before for him and consider what could happen with each choice. Obviously, over the past year, he had been choosing to continue on with his life, hoping the doctors were wrong and his love would get better. But now, on the eve of what he knew would be her death, he had to choose what would be best.

            “What would be best?” Nick asked himself. This was about the hundredth time he had asked himself that question in just that one day. He kept track of how many times he had actually asked himself what to do. No one could help him with this decision, for they had to choose what they would do themselves. They would have to weigh out the options, contemplate what was worth staying for, reliving, or going back for. Not a single soul could help anyone with this decision, not even your soul mate.

“What would be best?” Nick echoed his question again and again, wondering if the decision was becoming easier to him, or if he was buying time to make it. But time was running out, the sun was setting and when the clock struck 12:00 AM, he’d have to know or his life would just be over. Done. You’d be gone, no redo, no restart, just gone.

He weighed his options in his mind, again. Simply, he could decide to restart his life. He could return to the very beginning with the possibility of not meeting his love ever again.

However, she would probably have to go through this, again. Even if they didn’t meet, even if they didn’t fall for each other, his love would still have to go through the pain of this sickness. The pain would haunt her again and again as Nick restarted his life, hoping upon hope that they wouldn’t meet and he could avoid this pain and decision. But he wanted to meet her, he wanted to fall in love with her.

If he restarted life, he would have to go on the small off chance that they wouldn’t meet. The small chance that she may not get sick. It was a small chance, but, as said before, they would most likely meet again, she would most likely get sick again, and Nick would most likely go through the same heartbreak he was going through now. Again.

So, as he had noted to himself many times, restart was out of the question. That left continue or redo. Both options had their pros and their cons, and Nick was tearing his hair out in agony and frustration as he decided on what to do. Sadness, anger, and hate coursed through his body. Not hate for the situation he was in. No, that was what anger and sadness were there for.

His hate was for the system he lived in, the system everyone lived in, the system of making a tough decision at the end of each day and not being able to enjoy life to the fullest. He hated it, he wanted it gone. All the choosing and the reliving and the redoing, it messed up life and all of its splendors. Now most days, people could easily decide to continue on or redo a day once. But some days, people had to struggle to figure out a correct choice for them in the time they were given. On those days, life didn’t seem as magnificent as it had the day before. It lost all of its splendor, its majestic feeling, its wonders. On those days, it was all gone. Life seemed colorless, meaningless, and it felt like no matter what you chose, nothing else would be the same. Nick couldn’t do anything about that now, though. He had to live with it and make his choice. It was heart breaking, but he had to make it now.

On one hand, he could continue his current life. He could continue with the pain of knowing his love would never live to see past tomorrow. It would become duller over time, but the pain would be there every day for the rest of his life. She would be gone, and he could do nothing about it.

But she would be at peace. He wouldn’t have to see the pain in her eyes. The pain of being in the emotionless room she was always in and the pain of knowing her sickness would eventually kill her. She could rest easily in whatever afterlife awaited her. Nick would not have her anymore, but he would do anything to make her rest easily. That’s the exact reason why he questioned this decision, though. He would lose her forever.

It was selfish, but if he decided to redo this day, he could relive seeing his love forever. They would greet each other with a gentle kiss as Nick walked up to her bed. For hours they would talk in the room the doctors had put her in. Over the sounds and beeping of the machines in there, the young couple would talk about what had been happening to them, how Nick’s job was, how his love was feeling. Every night he would look forward to this little ceremony they had. He wondered and thought about what he would say to her the next day, and hoped that the doctors would have good news for him. It was a simple life that Nick would gladly relive every day, but something made him pause when considering redo. He knew what it was.

Every day, when he would go in to see his love, to give her that gentle kiss, he would have to see the small signs of pain she was in. He would have to see that sadness of her living in a sterile, colorless room. She always loved the outdoors, the hospital she now lived in was no place for her. He would have to see the false hope she had in her eyes every day, the false hope that she might one day be able to see nature and all of its beauty again without relying on memories. It could be simple and perfect, but it would hurt Nick and his love every time he chose to redo the day.

Nick stared out the window of his bedroom, looking at the sun beginning to hide behind the mountains that shadowed his Colorado home. For what seemed like an eternity, he stared at the majestic, snowcapped peaks of the Rocky Mountains. As he stared at the mountains, it almost felt like his love was there with him. They would hold each other, whisper sweet nothings in the others ears, and just pause to enjoy what life had to offer them. Now, as he kept staring at those mountains, the more it felt like she was next to him. The more it felt like she was next to him, the more it felt like it needed to happen. And, in that moment, Nick knew what he needed to do.

He turned to the clock by his bedside. “10 PM… Okay, that’ll give me enough time.” He rushed down the stairs of his house and grabbed his winter coat. Storming into the snow filled, winter night, he got into his car and began driving to the hospital where his wife was staying at. He sped down the road, paying no regard to the cars and people on the streets around him.

About fifteen minutes later, he arrived at the hospital. He walked through doors and saw no one there, save for the janitor sweeping the lobby area and the night shift nurse manning the front desk. He went directly down the hall where his love’s room was located. The nurse screamed after him, “Sir! Visiting hours are over, you’re not allowed down there!”

Nick simply turned around and said to the nurse, “Does it look like I give a damn?” She saw the passion and sadness in his eyes and retracted the comment. He sprinted the rest of the distance towards the room where she was sleeping. Once he got to the door, he slowly opened it, making sure not to wake her. Quietly, he snuck over to her bed and took all of the medical machines attached to her off. Then, he picked her up in his arms, being careful with her weak body.

Slowly, she opened her eyes to see what was happening. “Nick?” she said wearily. “What are you doing?”

A smile came to his face. “I’m taking you out of here, love. If you’re going to… To…”

“Die?” She finished with a smirk on her face.

“Yeah, that. I want you to be happy when that happens. I want you to be somewhere you’ll love. And I know that hospital room was a prisoner for you, so I’m breaking you out.”

She smiled at him weakly. “Well, aren’t you my knight in shining armor.”

“Of course I am. Who else would it be?” He gave her a soft kiss as to not hurt her already pained being.

She gave a small chuckle. “No one else.”

With his love in hands, Nick rushed down the hallway and past the nurse at the front desk. She made to yell after them, but nothing was heard from her. They made it to the car where Nick put his love in the front seat and drove off to the only destination they could go to. The clock on his car read 10:30 PM. The drive there was about an hour and about a twenty minute walk after that to get to their exact destination.

“So,” his love began. “Where are you taking me in my final hours?”

Nick smiled. “Some place you love, the last place you’d ever want to see. You know where.”

Suddenly, realization hit her. She knew where they were going. She grabbed Nick’s free hand and held it in hers as she drifted to sleep. After all, she wanted to save what little energy she had left for where they were going.

Once they made it to the point where cars had to stop, Nick got out and picked his love up in his arms, again. They were both silent, enjoying the scenery of the white pine forest they were walking through. Pure white snow covered the entirety of their path, and their foot prints were the first to grace the newly fallen powder.

It was fifteen minutes before they reached the point they needed to be at, cutting five minutes off the time it would usually take. In the moonlight they saw a frozen lake that reflected brightly under the moon’s gaze. Mountains surrounded the background of the lake and a small, white island was in the middle of it. The island was covered by several pines, and couples made their way out to the small plot of land all the time when the lake wasn’t frozen. Next to the lake was one, lone bench, which is where Nick and his love decided to sit. He sat her down on the cold bench, then he took his seat next to her.

“Lake Essence. The place where we met and the place where we fell in love.” Nick stated.

His love gave him a kiss on the cheek before laying her head on his chest and resting it there. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

For a few minutes, they enjoyed the peace, silence, and stillness of the night. They felt like they were frozen in time and wished that was one of the choices presented to them. When this thought crossed his love’s mind, she asked Nick wearily, “Why haven’t you chosen to redo this day or restart your life, yet?”

He smiled, hoping she would ask this question. “I don’t plan to choose either.”

“Why not? The only other option is continue, and that will leave you…”

“Without you? I know. But I couldn’t stand seeing you in that room and in pain another day. I knew you wanted to find peace and escape everything that was hurting you. I knew you wanted to be free and I couldn’t live with myself knowing I could deny you that."

At this moment, tears began to fill his love’s eyes. Finally, she said, “Well, I’m glad I can spend my last hours with you, here, in this moment. I love you.”

“And I love you. Now, rest, love.”

She needed no bidding. She gave him one last kiss and fell asleep on his chest, knowing that she may never open her eyes again. For a few moments, he just watched her. Everything about her was beautiful, from the near white blonde hair to her crystal blue eyes to her fair skin. As well, her personality matched her beauty perfectly. She would always be the one to brighten up people’s days, even when she was sick. She would always make you laugh, even when you didn’t want to. And she would always be there for you, loyal until the end. Everything about her was beautiful.

            Nick looked up to the stars, admiring their beauty, as well as his love’s, one last time. He gave her one last kiss on her forehead. Then, with sorrow in his heart, he quietly said to himself, “Continue.” And the night continued on; it was cold and still, but it continued on.

Author's Note

I just want reviews, critiques, and comments on this. I loved writing this, but this was also a way to practice my writing style, so I want to know how I did. Thanks!

Reviews

[SquinklaPsyOps]

I love the ending, really the whole thing was pretty good.

You added seriousness and a little bit of comedy into this piece, which I liked. And also you gave examples.

I felt like this could be directed at all kinds of people and they would all understand what you're saying.

[nickdaman6]

Thanks! And that is precisely why I wrote this the way I did. Giving examples and calling the woman 'my/his love' made it so that it could apply to anyone. Not just a person with a single name. Again, thanks for the review!