As I sit, alone, in my car pouring smoke from the depths of my soul and matching music to my mood, I am exploring my wire crossing brain. The visions of you are so vivid, that I almost cant contain myself. I want feel your lovely lips on mine while walking through the mall, just because you felt like it. I want to laugh and flirt with you under the eyes of judgers because we don’t care that were “that couple”. I want to drape my fingers through yours, look into your broad brown eyes, and know that in that moment, we are both so at peace with the world that the coldest winds couldn’t shiver our spines. However, you see, I am tortured with the awkwardness of my feelings being afraid to cross the bridge from my mind to my mouth. For rejection lives under that bridge and if my footsteps awake him, I don’t know what he’ll do. All is not lost however, no matter how scared my feeling are of my words, they will never be scared of my pen. So I’ve written to you to express these feelings, in hopes that they will be replaced by romantic and theatrical feelings. So what do you say darling? You wanna catch a movie or something?
i havent been on in a while. ive been doin a bunch of other cool stuff and really just havent felt like writing or had the chance i guess. anyway this really isnt for anyone in particular, its just how i have felt at times. what do you think?
My Review
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"I am tortured with the awkwardness of my feelings being afraid to cross the bridge from my mind to my mouth. For rejection lives under that bridge and if my footsteps awake him, I don’t know what he’ll do."
this was sweet, it really expresses your lack of expression in real life as compared to your true mind. It makes me think if shallow people are actually just bordered up by emotional walls. Really well done, and I thought the ending was great. You got points with that one: SCORE!
you felt like it - feel; because it keeps with the tense.
care that were - we're
scared my feeling - feelings
I liked that ending, it was quite different to conventional endings of love letters and such. I particularly loved how you took the troll living under a bridge and replaced it with rejection - I thought that was a neat way of putting it. And I also loved the line "we are both so at peace with the world that the coldest winds couldn't shiver our spines," - I thought that was beautiful.
I absolutely love the ending. Everything was very formal and then it suddenly turned coloquial, it really worked for this piece. I loved the line 'matching music to my mood', there was something really lovely and deep about it, and the alliteration rocked. Thanks for sharing!
Always must plot a plan out before asking for date. Have a secondary plan always ready too. A excellent poem. I like the internal planing and hoping in the mind for a good ending. A excellent poem.
Hey my name is Nick. I'm 20 and I like to write. Music is a huge influence in my life and my ipod has 12,000 great songs and is pretty much my prized possession. I write what I feel and that is someti.. more..