Sometime Around Sunrise

As it ends, sometime around sunrise,

Or at least that’s when your forced to admit

That your lover will leave

And you stand, at the end of her driveway

And the car is packed full

of the things that she cant live without.

And you don’t make the cut,

Your minds are both flooded with doubt.

And you’ll remember that face

But nothings left to talk about

 

But you know, that’s she cares too.

She’s weeping her eyes dry,

She’s holding on to you for love.

And its so f****n’ ironic.

A heart cast asunder by hope.

And you can only grasp tight.

To her legacy your sad mind will take home.

 

And so there’s a chink, in one of your armors

And all those memories

Play movies like midnight shows in your mind.

Of the nights that you held her,

And how hard she kissed you that time.

And your feeling helpless and desperate,

With no choice, and a shivering spine.

 

Then you leave, and you lose her forever.

But you make sure you see her,

The last time you’ll see her green eyes.

As you drive home to sob,

Your throat stuck on goodbyes.

You don’t care what you look like

You cant hold back your cowardly cries.

 

And you live, with this moment.

Your too lost to lose hope

Of the days when your life was alive.

You don’t care what the price is.

Its that life for which you’ll blindly strive.

　

　

　

　

　

　

Author's Note

So i kind of used an Airborne Toxic Event song as a sort of guideline for this but the story is something ive wanted to write about for a while. Let me know.

Reviews

[Zatoichi]

The story you want to tell is so raw and real; it deserves better than you've shown it here. You're a great writer in need of an editor and spell-check. This poem brings to mind the Crystal Cathedral- a most awesome dazzling glass structure; you've built it but can't be bothered to wash the windows.

Your- possessive
You're- You are

[Kat24]

hi,
this is very good. i like the flow of this too. kat24

[.]

that is so enthralling..you captured an emotion which I thought your authors notes would say that you had just experienced...the fact that this is just from your imagination to superb...raw and emotional..well written piece

[AmeliaMae]

I really like the rhythme of this poem. I really like it, because i can relate to it. it is happening to me right now (i would be in the girls position). but this a very very good write!

[Citizen Erased]

Wow, this is a great poem. Very well written!

[the in between]

awesome poem it's all very realistic and sad. Moving on is hard. Thanks for sharing

[Radioactive]

Real and relatable. Great work, really brings to mind some turning points in my life.
"And the car is packed full
of the things that she cant live without.
And you don’t make the cut,"
^^ my favourite line of the poem.
It was an awesome read!
XX Maddie

[Bard Constantine]

I've thought is's moments that make us... the rest is the debris that flies by. But it's those moments... of joy and sorrow, tragedy and triumph that define us, and ultimately stamp our identity of self. This is one of those moments...

[Senseless whatever]

Good write. You have captured a turning point in life dramatically. Good flow of emotion.

[Ebb and Flow]

This is stunning and heart wrenching. Most people have a hard time writing about this subject, but you seemed to do just fine. It's hard to let things go especially if they once made you happy but in the end all you can do is let go. This is truly a great write.