A Relationship Argument told by a Man and Interpreted by his Female Friends Thoughts.

This is a phone conversation between a man and his female friend, the BOLD words are the man telling the story through his viewpoint and the ITALICIZED words are how the female friend interprets how she thinks the actual argument went.

MAN

WOMAN

*dial tone*

*phone rings*

*receiver clicks* (yes, they are using landlines..go f**k yourself)

Hello?

What’s wrong.

How is everything with you?

You really don’t give a f**k, you have a story you need to tell me.

So I had a long night last night.

You had an argument with your girlfriend.

Everything was going fine, typical night, I was just sitting on the couch watching TV

and then my girlfriend comes home and started acting crazy and yelling at me.

Everything was going fine until you were a complete dickhead.

I didn’t know how to react at first, I didn’t even know why she was upset.

You were scared because you weren’t sure what she found out about you that she wasn’t supposed to find out.

I just let her finish her screaming, so maybe I could figure out what was wrong.

You didn’t want to admit to something she didn’t know you did; so you let her yell at you as you try to get a clue as to what she found out.

After she calmed down, I told her that I don’t know what I did, but I was sorry.

You told her you didn’t do anything wrong.

She tells me that she thinks she saw me at the mall with another girl.

She saw you at the mall with another girl.

I tell her it wasn’t me, I have been home all day, it must have been someone else.

It was you, but can she really prove that?

She then started yelling again, almost crying, I told her again and again that it wasn’t me and that I had been home all day, I don’t even like the mall.

It was a clone you made of yourself, and you love the mall.

Then I started to get upset that she didn’t trust me.

Then you started to get upset that you were with another woman and she won’t believe that you weren’t. That b***h.

I still keep my cool though, I don’t get upset, I just continue to tell her that it wasn’t me.

You lost it, you are breaking out all the stops for this lie, Academy Award level s**t, and she still will not give it a rest.

After about an hour, I start getting agitated and yell at her for not trusting me.

Once there is a commercial break you begin to give the argument your full attention.

We butt heads for about 2 hours before I just start feeling like I’m about to just give up.

The commercial break ended.

I really bit my tongue, I wanted to say some awful things, but I acted like an adult.

You called her the C-Word.

I don’t know if I can take this anymore, no matter what I do, she never trusts me.

You cheat on her a lot.

I really wish more girls could be like you, you are understanding, you really get me.

I’m not going to sleep with you.

Hopefully me and her will work this out, we didn’t break up. Thank God.

It’s much easier to have a one night stand when you’re in a relationship.

By the end of the night we were okay, every relationship has it’s ups and downs.

She’s just as stupid as you are.

Really, thanks again for listening to this, I know you probably have better stuff to do.

You know I don’t.

I think me and her maybe should just take a break from each other for a few days, just so we can cool off.

You’d really like to cheat on her in the comfort of your own home.

We would be fine if she would just trust me.

You would be fine if she’d stop going to the mall.

Thanks for listening, I’ve got to go, I just realized what time it was and I’ve got a busy day.

You just realized she gets home in 1 hour and you have at least a 5 minute and 27 second date planned before then......Girls talk.

Okay, welp, Bye.

You dick.