Heart, Strength, You and I

This poem is based off of the book A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

The way he smells, when he looks at me

My heart would skip a beat

His face, his hair

The strength of how I felt would over power the heat

Every prayer, every day was him

It has always been him

The nights when the lights were dim

My heart falls as well

Missing his touch

But even though my heart has fell

I will never give up the hope

He promise I would feel his love

That he would be back

And I trust him as I look above

The way he smells, when he looks at me

My heart would skip a beat

Reviews

[dovetailer]

Very beautiful...how wonderful to love and be loved in return...priceless

[Kelly Taylor]

I love the imagery and feelings of love you created in this poem. :)

[Legion]

Dig deep. You have a love of the ages (so to speak) so make the piece memorable for the reader. Make them feel what you feel. This isn't bad, it just isn't remarkable considering this man burns deeply within you. I (as well as others) want to feel that fire too. Read "On Writing Love Poems" to get a better idea of what I am talking about.

[KaySea]

amazing write

[Kesha]

Wow! Amazing poem! I really enjoyed reading this! Keep it up! :)

[Cheyenne]

I really like the poem but there are a few errors.. I think when you say "even though my heart has fell" you mean "even though my heart has fallen" and also i think when you say "promise i would feel his love" you mean "Promised i would feel his love" Just a few things i detected that you might have missed

[JelliFyshKissUs]

An emotional write. Obviously of one holding on to a shadow of what use to be "Him". It is never easy when we love and lose, and even clinging to the hope that we will have the moments again can be quite painful. I can feel that in this poem. I know the line, "The way he smells, when he looks at me" is used on purpose, but I'm intrigued and baffled by the meaning. Was it used that way in the book? Or did you come up with it yourself? Please let me know. Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to reading more of your work.

[nono]

This is interesting....Never give up lolz! When you give up to others your weak the more you stay in the fight the better something is! Nicely done. Writing is about expressions and that's what you showed good job!

[(JR) Joshua Hernandez]

wow interesting poem very sweet though I like it nice!