Dr. Ni's Notes & Nibbles--8

Dr. Ni’s Notes & Nibbles--8

It is the New Year, and you are already worrying about the Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, holiday travel bills.  Or perhaps you are again in your favorite chair, staring at a blank b**b tube, wondering where you will be and with whom—if anyone—on the quintessential date night of the year:  New Year’s Eve.  Perhaps you have just thrown a dart at the picture of the new ex—girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, life partner, soul mate—picture of said person placed on wall specifically for target practice.

Perhaps you are laying in the arms of the one you love, looking up into his or her eyes, and thanking your lucky stars that five years ago, you went on that blind date.  Maybe your significant other is sleeping, and you are watching them breathe, one ear tuned toward the children’s room, or a parent’s room, and you are sending a prayer of thanks to whatever entity you believe in for protecting all currently under your roof.

Perhaps you have just buried the one you love, or lost them earlier this year, and you are wondering about the cruelties of that entity in which you believe, how they could take your loved one, where in heaven or hell is the justice in that.  Perhaps this one moment is the only free one you have away from concerned relatives, friends, children who want to soothe you into feeling better when all you want to do is rage, rage at the loss, the absence, the hole permanently carved in your heart.

Whatever you are doing, know that the sun will rise tomorrow and 2008 will begin.  First the sky will be inky dark, then somehow a lighter shade of thickest royal blue, then the slow transition to periwinkle, then turquoise, then aqua and then, then the glorious sun will peek across the horizon to see if you are up waiting for it.  It hopes you welcome it with a smile; it likes to be received with warmth and expectation.

Some days you will not want to greet the sun.  Some days you will hate that job for the umpteenth time and throw the clock across the room in disgust.  Some days you will look at your life partner sleeping and think, what the hell am I doing here?  Some days the children will come rushing down the hall to your bedroom and you will think how am I doing God?  Did I screw them up irreparably yesterday?  Will I do so today?  You think this because you love them, and that kind of deep love always knows its companion, fear.

The video you are about to see is for those days, the days when you’d just rather not.  Rather not live, rather not do, rather not see, rather not participate, thank you.  This video is for that moment after you’ve screamed and the hits just keep right on coming and you’ve already sworn that was it, no more.

As you watch, think about these dancers, and the million and one ways in which they’ve been told no, it is impossible, you simply can’t.

And then watch.  And believe.

Love and blessings of the season,
Dr. Ni

(The video can perhaps be googled by searching "zehniyat.wmv")