God

Conversation with God

God

 

God, this is my breaking point

Back against wall, held by gunpoint

You don’t have the nerve to do it

Instead I’ll suffer in your empty pit

 

Throw me aside like a piece of trash

Hit me head on like a devastating crash

Kick me when I cannot get back up

Make me drink from your poisonous cup

 

So I will die in this pit you have given me to me

Tell me God, why do you not let me feel free?

Why do you mock me as I struggle to breathe?

All I can feel is the fire as it continues to seethe

 

To my life do you not care?

Did you ignore each prayer?

Why laugh at my sorrow?

Why make me hate tomorrow?

 

What makes you think I can take anymore?

You send the rain and all it ever does is pour

Why not let me succeed in a single dream of mine?

You look at me and all you say is “you are fine”

 

You are sick and twisted beyond these words

Everything about you is simply for the birds

You have done nothing but give me false hope

I am dying, but you will not offer any rope

 

So take this life of mine because I it no longer has a need

Maybe when I give in and die I will finally be freed

I have always viewed myself in high regard I suppose

Is it my insecurity, trust, and anger you are trying to expose?

 

Tell me God, what purpose can I possibly serve?

Why do you not allow me to have what I deserve?

Why can I not find happiness inside of my soul?

Why do I feel as though as though I am losing control?

 

If my future is bright, why does it seem so dim?

If my dreams will come true, why am I on the brim?

If my life has purpose, why let me suffer in pain?

If my life has meaning, why does it continue to rain?

 

The moment I gave up you was many years ago

I saw others who believed, but did not truly know

So here in this moment I must admittedly say

When times are bad I have tried to kneel and pray

 

The lack of answers is what has bothered me

Without answers I cannot feel like I am free

Maybe you ignore me on purpose as a joke

Maybe the thought of you is simply a hoax

 

Do you remember the day I first found you?

It was in Flushing, Michigan where I felt new

Every little detail reminisces in my still

At that moment I fully gave into your will

 

But now I am too far away to be saved

The broken path I travel is already paved

The cracks are every time I will have a trial

I know with this life I will never smile

 

So I will die in this fiery pit of hell

Into the earth my remains will dwell

The pain becomes worse with every breath

I see a hand reach for me, just before death

 

I grab ahold and escape just in time

With help I am able to make the climb

I look up and know who saved my life

But why come after all of this strife?

 

“I never gave up on you despite the hate

Since you were born I have known your fate

You are destined for more than meets the eye

There is no need to sit back and always ask why

 

I sent you people who could love you along the way

They asked for your understanding when they would pray

They never doubted you would one day understand

That for you I have amazing things already planned

 

They guided you when you would not listen

The thought of you in their hearts would glisten

They never wanted to give up since hope will always win

They wanted you to feel the incredible power within

 

Once you realize you are no longer in control

That is when I can truly start to fill your soul

There will be struggles along the path I have for you

But in time I promise that you will feel brand new

 

So stop feeling as though you are in this alone

I have watched you as you have proudly grown

But when you submit and understand my will

That my child, will be life’s greatest thrill”

 

God I am but a child in a man’s body

I have lived a life no one would embody

What makes my life worth anything at all?
Why will you not just let me fall?

 

“You are someone’s hero out there

You truly are, you are just unaware

You do not know the impact you have had

You have helped others when they are sad

 

But now it is time for others to come

I will use them to take away the numb

The feeling you will have will surpass

Each time you were at an impasse

 

So please let me have you once more

When I look at you I smile and adore

The life you have has been rough

But you cannot always act tough”

 

God what if I decide I want to wait?

What if I do not trust you with my fate?

What if you are lying to me about these things?

What if I am a puppet attached to your strings?

 

“Then you can wait and I will too

Because I look forward to making you new

On that day you will trust me with all you are

I know you like I know each and every star

 

I will never lie to you or leave you I swear

Those who love you will lift you up in prayer

You are not a puppet you are my child

Everyone has kids who decide to go wild

 

I think of everything we have already done together

I once held you when you were as light as a feather

I think of all we are going to do when you accept

That I love you and for your soul I have wept”

 

God, please take whatever I have left

Into your world I want to be swept

I want the feeling I had before this storm

I want your love to make me feel warm

 

I do not ask for much anymore

For you I will love and adore

For in this moment I will rise

I will not lose to my own demise

 

“My child, I do not need anything at all

I will always be here to catch you when you fall

I will not let you go down in flames

Despite any of your previous claims

 

I do not ask for anything but you

That is how I am able to make you new

You have always had all of my love

Now you can have peace like a dove

 

You must understand that cannot be defeated

You have me so come now and be seated

For our journey is ready and will be long

But this is where you have always belong”

 

 

Reviews

[J.M. Wise]

very nice, great flow and a positive ending. Solid poem. I really enjoyed the line"the thought of you in their hearts would glisten" It was a powerful line and sentimental.

[Hebe]

Your poem made me cry....how wonderfully you described all your challenges, so real, anyone who believes can understand the depth and the intensity of this message.

[brian]

This. Poem. Is. Beautiful.. It truly is. God was speaking/writing right through you, and that is clear. You let yourself and your soul be used as God's Vessel..because this touched me, and it spoke straight to my heart. I love your poems..as there is not a word wasted. It's all clear, precise, and straightforward. The journey it takes you on is indescribable--through the pain, the heartache, the highs..the lows, and then the brilliant highlights! It's "real"! You have a gift. Your poetry--as well as this--is up there with the best. Some poems entertain, some excite....Yours "teach." (=