Mean Green

My mom went to school for psychology, way before she met Gary. And way before she had me. She went to UNT. She got her bachelor's, and that's it. That's all she could afford at the time. I mean, she really loves it, all that psychology and mystery thriller stuff. She reads all those kinds of books all the time. But she can't do much with it, and we can't either. Like me and Rylee and Wyatt and Gary. Gary is the fixer-upper when tornadoes break things up here and has this huge truck for it and everything.

My mom told me that people change things about themselves when they get depressed. She told me that's the reason why I always have to dye my hair. It didn't start until I was in junior high and people got meaner and life got more different and I was too knowledgeable of things in my life so when I act dumb and stupid and when I dye my hair I feel a little better. Just only a little. Sometimes I wonder if she says that to make me feel better, or to make herself feel better and less stressed or both.

I've dyed my hair about four times now. Four times since sixth grade and now I'm in eighth. I remember why the first time. I was a stupid little girl in a stupid little f****n' bubble and I thought Gary was my dad and then she told me who my real dad was. Jonathan Blakely. He lived in Oklahoma. He'd left me and my mom for drugs and on account of him I had about fifty million half brothers and sisters. I didn't think about it much. Like I said I was a stupid little girl in a stupid f****n' bubble. I didn't know any better. Not until it started to sink in.

The first time in sixth grade, when I dyed my hair, it was this dark brown. It was really f****n' ugly. But back then it made me so happy. I didn't even cry when my mom put the stuff in my hair.

Today, it's some Manic Panic stuff. Bleach bleach bleach bleach blonde. People always tell me, "Your hair is gonna fall out" or "Doesn't that hurt?" Well I just smile at 'em. But in my head, it's different. I'd rather have the pain of chemical junk on my scalp than the pain of going to school everyday and people saying things about me. I'd rather have my hair fall out than keep watchin' everything in my life fall out of place.

Reviews

[MarkGMelvin]

Interesting