Chimes

My very first, and very crappy, poem. I have never really been into poetry but now it is kinda growing on me. the thing is my poem is not good and out of the four I wrote this one is the best.

If the heart is held dear

Do we have to fear

The dreadful thought of loosing our minds

To the love that there is many kinds.

 

Do we have to love

If love is not here

Do we have to lie

Just to get by

 

We say that we love

But do we love what we say

Has the truth become a lie

And a lie become truth

 

Do the words “I love you” take effect

In this dark and lonely place?

Is there really a time

That we listen to the chimes

 

The beautiful chimes

The beautiful chimes…

Author's Note

I didn't know what to put for the genre, please be as critical as you want, or perhaps need???

Reviews

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Mason Watts,

For the genre, just put: poetry. It's what it is, isn't it? And don't be so critical of yourself even though writers are often the most critical of themselves. You wrote better than I did when I started out writing. This isn't a bad poem, Mason. And I can't write love poems, so don't feel bad. My love poems really, really suck. Like if you were to say my poem sucks, amplify that statement by ten or so times and there you have it. Lol.

To the poem itself: In the first stanza, you have a little off flow because in the last two lines of the stanza, you use too many redundant words. Not every sentence in a poem has to start with a capitalized letter. Actually, I would redo the last two lines of it. The fourth line of stanza one is out of context. Maybe if you were to redo it like this, "To love; of that there is many kinds." Stanza two seems kind of short and in depth, but the second stanza's ending could've been better. Use rhyming dictionaries like rhymezone.com and rhymer.com and make sure that when you place a rhyme, that when you read it, it sounds natural. And the repetition at the end is very nice. Flow is good. It's a very good writing. Good overall theme. Good job. 8.2/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

[Cassandra D.]

I think this was a very inspiring poem. I liked reading this because your words totally made a difference and now, I have to think about everything all over again...lol.
This was very nicely written.

[Taylor H.]

great poem...i loved it. I feel like the smallest review right now lol

[Rain Kissed Secret]

I don't know exactly what to say to this. Probably because I have no idea if this is your first or last poem. There are some none flowing spaces. I don't want to point out the obvious, but readers love to be able to be captured, that means no interruptions till the piece is finished, even if it is in the piece itself. I remember when I was young I wrote a 2 stanza. each with two words. My sisters laughed at me because they were already so good at the things they wrote and drew. I want you to realize too that you are trying to be persuasive about your opinion and make sure they feel something. That's easy to do. But you have to know the topics you are writing on. You have to know your thoughts and feelings, that's why so many people who try to write poems and stories are no good. Because they don't know. Because they don't want to know. My advice to you is to write little things in your head, say them aloud, then forget them. And keep doing that proccess. It seems silly I know, but with each forgotten art, you'll want to keep the next one you make that much more. Don't forget! If you need a rhyme, you'll make it up in time. ^-^ good luck

Rain