Child, Not Bride.

It's a protest poem against child marriages in some cultures.

her crabbed fingers
weaving away at her
frosted threadbare seam
its laughter died a decade since
brackish sweat her lips kissed
amidst the wintry cold
she wove

tears and sweat confluenced
at her withered cheeks
then the ash dust blew into her eyes
Shekau’s feet hit the hearth-side
with a thud
‘Habiba!’ yelled the septuagenarian
his stooping weight on the
bamboo makeshift swagger-stick
‘Your ratty daughters need you.’
Habiba wove on
the silence was death-like
and the nearby grove crackled
with the disappearance of Shekau
following the wave of silence
and the surf of choler
the teeny-weeny teen
rose to her feet
bowed and, as though,
crawled into her uncurtained hut
welcomed therein by the multiple cries
of her famished puppies
she was thirteen �" just thirteen

the frosty cold whimpered outside
her sob carried far and away
in the still wind of a wasteland.

Author's Note

Please let me know what you make of the poem.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Tis what I call a beautiful sadness. You've woven an evil truth amongst finely said phrases... told a story that should never be, you are indeed someone courageous enough to speak out. Thank you for such an empathic but dramatic piece of writing. Brilliant in content.. and it should be read, reviewed.. and more

[Mauricio Montoya]

It's sad and tragic that a girls frist love has to be arranged without her right to say yes or no, excellent write

[Shannon]

Heart felt reality many of us are fortunate to experience. It should make us sad and you have done that with skill here.

[barleygirl]

Overall description is well-done thru-out your poem, painting the word pictures of lives in this culture. However, I feel the part addressing child marriages is too little & underdeveloped. You spent so little time on describing the girl's plight, your poem seems to do the same thing to her that life is doing -- disregarding her by not making her story central to your message. Despite this somewhat disappointing aspect, the teensy part that you did devote to the child bride was nicely intense & nuanced . . . "famished puppies" . . . "sob carried away on the wasteland"

[Valentine]

Just reading the poem I would not have thought of her as being married. Bring more of the two into your work. Valentine

[wordman]

sad,but well written,loved the story

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad poem shared. It is sad when babies are forced to be woman.
"crawled into her uncurtained hut
welcomed therein by the multiple cries
of her famished puppies
she was thirteen " just thirteen "
Hard life is some places for woman. Thank you my friend for sharing the powerful poetry.
Coyote

[TheAimlessWanderer]

a masterfully crafted scene of injustice and tragedy in this world love your use of vocabulary i felt this deeply it saddens me that their is nothing i can do amazing write !

[Paul Bell]

Well penned. 21st century and it's still going on.
Wouldn't it be great, if kids actually could be kids.