A Poem of Broken Love

Off the top of my head

It felt like a tidal wave

Pushing through my body

One memory I'll always save

You were my only somebody

Nobody, nobody, nobody

Will be better than you

A thousand memories

Aren't sweeter than you

A thousand kisses

Are meaningless if not yours too

One goodbye - I thought would kill me

Oh, and how it did

Endless crying never felt better

Than when I cried over you

Nobody, nobody, nobody

Makes me cry as much as you do

A thousand blades

Aren't sharper than you

A thousand waves

Don't pull me under faster than you

How you touched my face

And how you kissed my lips

Your kindness and grace

Felt like lemongrass and rosehips

Nobody, nobody, nobody

Do I miss more than you

A thousand hearts

Couldn't contain our love

A thousand open wounds

Couldn't show how much you made my heart bleed

One dream pulled me back

How you stroked my hair

Will never top that loving stare

The one that's now gone

Nobody, nobody, nobody

Wrecks my heart as you do

A thousand love songs

Will never express my love, Love

A thousand batted eyelashes

Will never have flirted enough to satisfy my aching heart

The sun isn't more powerful

Than the light you brought to me

The nights sky and the entire galaxy

Won't ever mean more to me than you

Nobody, nobody, nobody

Ever took my breath away like you

A thousand years 

Can't take away the pain

A thousand bunny ears

Won't make me laugh ever again

No swimsuit ever made me feel

More like a model than you did

A prettier galaxy doesn't exist

Than the one in your eyes

Nobody, nobody, nobody

Was as gorgeous as you

A thousand suitors

Won't help me forget your face

A thousand rose petals

Will never be as soft as your kiss

My life feels

Like a dedication to you

Every day

For you, for you

Nobody, nobody, nobody

Forever as a place in my heart

Like you do

Author's Note

February, the month of love, is the best time to talk about and express love.
So why not crack open my heart and make a poem about the last time I was truly happy.

Reviews

[...Relic...]

You have expressed yourself beautifully. The detail--Your kindness and grace Felt like lemongrass and rosehips--is superb. I'm really surprised that others have not reviewed such a great piece of emotional poetry. I hope you feel better soon. You have so much talent.

[Ariana Omnomnom]

Thank you, I feel like I could add to this poem forever even though I did end it. I might actually make a second part on another date.
And that line seems to be resonating with some others too.

[...Relic...]

I'll make sure I read it if you do.

[Ariana Omnomnom]

Deal ;)
I make a part two and you read it lol. I'll make one about the other boyfriend that was hard to get over that turned into also because he's really a great guy.

[William Arthur]

beautiful sentiments contained in this poem. you obviously cared very much about this person, i hope they can read this and know how you felt even if it is too late to be reconciled with them.

few things to consider:

'One goodbye - I thought would kill me' i would separate these onto two lines really bring home the emotion of the goodbye


'suitors' sounds old fashioned, have you said to any of your friends recently 'i have a new suitor?' ;-p say 'a thousand lovers won't make me forget your face- it sounds more daring more extreme.

'Couldn't show how much you made my heart bleed' grammar error should be 'bled'

then again 'thousand blades... thousand etc...' its just a personal thing of mine but i dislike numerical values in poems, why say a thousand or a million (it sounds like hyperbole) when you could say for example 'all the blades in harlem' or' 'a world of chefs with their knives and pans could not cut and burn me as you did etc' although those are silly examples. i just find it much more poetic to find an image that expresses a quantity rather than saying the number

'It felt like a tidal wave
Pushing through my body' strong image- you can expand on this, there are others like this too where you mention them briefly but move immediately on...

It felt like a tidal wave
Pushing through my body
gently lapping at my toes,
rising up my legs
surging at my loins
peaking at my stomach and
breaking at my heart,
carrying with it the
detritus of broken
dreams, memories, hope,
which pool and fester
in my crowded mind....

for example...

have a play around, its a lovely poem with great potential x

[Ariana Omnomnom]

The point of the poem is that it's how I feel and that it's my own ;P

I wrote it according to my own style. A lot of these suggestions don't match my style. I often write in short rhyming stanzas. I sometimes feel like Dr. Seuss with my rhyming "problem" (because sometimes it can be).

In regards to my use of the word suitors I actually would use that term because every word has a specific meaning, and the word I was looking for was suitors. People who are presented to me in order to be matched up with me for life. Not a lover or a partner, but a suitor.

My poem had a rigid form to it, and that is why I used a thousand. It's partially because a thousand of most things is a lot, and partially because "a thousand" has a solidity to it when read out loud. Also, I wanted to but a comprehensible number to it to help the reader grasp the grandness of my feelings. While the feelings are impossible to explain, humans require understanding.

Regarding "It felt like a tidal wave", the moment I refer to literally felt like a tidal wave and that was that. It was the first time I saw him in person, and it literally felt like a wave was crashing through my body for a split second, and then it was over. I feel in a way that most people do not. I feel most everything at once, and not for prolonged periods of time. So, the choppiness really represents that. I honestly could make this poem extend forever because my feelings about this person will extend forever, but everything has to end eventually. Whether I like it or not. Had I gone as in depth as you would have preferred this would be an epic poem that lasted several books long. One that that would take years to read because I simply feel that much.

Thanks for the review though!

My whole life is a summation of feelings, please understand.

[Calamity]

I am completely in awe Ariana.
This is so full of emotion that I just feel I am rooted in your heart.
This could easily be one of the greatest love songs ever.

[Ariana Omnomnom]

Oh, thank you!!
That really means a lot, I've never gotten a compliment that big before lol.
Wowie. Gee-wiz, I don't know what to say. I just put down my feelings really.

wow.

[Calamity]

You are welcome, very deserving!

[Red]

Your poetry is beautiful. It feels like this is basically a song waiting to happen. Your emotions are in every verseand you can clearly see the passion and feeling you put into it when you wrote. Keep up the amazing work

[stars are far]

omg that was so sad, yet expresses lots of emotions. That will be added to my favorites because you described lots of what I think of, and you just touched my wounded heart. And this february yeah the month of love, well being so postive i lost my lover on the first day of the previous february so i also hate this month.. But hey be positive lifw will be better :D

[Ariana Omnomnom]

Possibly...

[Jason Shadows]

The sun isn't more powerful
Than the light you brought to me.

Great expression of love. I truly like this one.

[Ariana Omnomnom]

I met him in an excruciatingly painful, dark time in my life. He truly brought me light.

[Playing with Demons]

Ooh this is just beautiful! It flows well and the connotation gives me amazing feels, I love the astronomical descriptions . You did an excellent job portraying your emotions in a calm sophisticated way yet its very passionate and sad.
Nice job!

[Ariana Omnomnom]

My whole life is passionate and sad. I'm an artist.

[Playing with Demons]

Haha a tortured artist who sings the words in a language that only the other crazies understand

[Ariana Omnomnom]

Or people who speak English well enough.

[Playing with Demons]

Lolol yep :)