my homeland has left...

i dreamt of glistening stars, a canvas overhead

casting a hollow of your ghostly silhouette on my lawn

while we danced hand in hand

going forward and backwards, a time-defying pace

wearing my prettiest smiles for you

while you wore your classic pretty face

merely started to feel butterflies

right when it all vanished into thin air

i was left holding the hand of suffocating air around you

while it engulfed me in whole

when you left me there alone

all while promising you'd stay 

forevermore, until my dying breath

a promise broken, a vow unkept

and there and then did it dawn on me

you were nothing but an expression of love i created

in my graveyard of a lonely mind

how do i breathe this air, so thin and cold?

my homeland is gone far away

my sanctuary, lost and gone

my spirit, weary and old...

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

To lose what we love whether it be a person, place or thing is hard. We have emotional attachment to many different things and cherish them.

This is beautifully worded and creat an ethereal feel at first and shifts into loss and melancholy. The flow is smooth and the rhythm scheme is nicely done

[Mk.t.g]

thanku for such a constructive review, i really appreciate u coming here

[Poetic Beauty]

You are welcome

[Pete]

ouch. not a good state to be in. sounds like he himself forged the bars of his prison with unrealistic expectations. people often do not live up to our expectations and ideals. that's heartache, very well expressed.

[Mk.t.g]

thanku for reading

[NelliKong]

My favorite line was comparing your mind to a graveyard. The emptiness, feelings of sadness and regret are associated with that. This was an excellent read that conveyed emotion

[Mk.t.g]

thanku so much for coming by!!!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Such a sad and mournful write. There are so many who have died awaiting a homeland. They were strangers and sojourners on the earth. But those who say such things show they are still searching for a home of their own. If they had been speaking of a home they had left they would still have the chance to return but instead they long for a better country; a heavenly one. For that reason and purpose God is not ashamed of them but has prepared a city and a home for them. That's a paraphrased translation from the book of Hebrews but I believe it applies to all us spiritual vagabonds seeking love and peace in the midst of the violence and chaos that seems to rule our world.

[Mk.t.g]

indeed, thanku for coming by!

[Coyote Poetry]

Yes my friend. It seems. Everything we held warm and precious. Leave us.
"how do i breathe this air, so thin and cold?
my homeland is gone far away
my sanctuary, lost and gone
my spirit, weary and old..."
The above lines. I do understand. If we leave home for too long. Things, we had as value will be gone. Thank you my friend for sharing the powerful and worthwhile poetry.
Coyote

[Mk.t.g]

thanku for coming by, coyote. loved seeing you here

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

it was beautiful. exploring complicated feelings, this verse says so much in such few words. it was really well-penned and it made me feel more than think. this is a clear sign of strong writing.

[Mk.t.g]

oh my god, thanku so much for coming by and appreciating it, i really appreciate it!

[berenongur]

at first i was reading this thinking it would be something that would put a smile on my face and then the smile slowly faded and the pain in my heart increased. damn. i can't breathe. every word is so poetic... like giving someone everything you can and not even getting a warm smile in return. reminds me of some taylor swift lyrics in many places (DEFINITELY IN A GOOD WAY)

wearing my prettiest smiles for you
while you wore your classic pretty face

"I wait by the door like I'm just a kid
Use my best colors for your portrait
Lay the table with the fancy s**t
And watch you tolerate it"

sometimes it's hard to even get a simple response isn't it? someone who was once platonical to me told me this when he saw me with someone else "i didn't even know you were approachable, but it seems like there are people you could smile together"
and that line hurt me so much and it destroyed me to think about how painful it was that he could say that from his perspective.
We've all sometimes gotten meaning from a single smile... and it was mostly true.

when you left me there alone
all while promising you'd stay
forevermore, until my dying breath
a promise broken, a vow unkept

"Words from the mouths of babes, promises oceans deep
But never to keep"

sometimes people forget that a simple word they say can spin around in someone else's head for hours and create scenarios, right?

you were nothing but an expression of love i created
in my graveyard of a lonely mind

most of us ignore most red flags by believing the lie that "love is blind" but no, that's not the truth, we create a new personality, a new story in our minds for a person and fall in love with them. It's very difficult to realize the truth, to open the curtains. It's scary in a sense. You believe a lie you created yourself. and then when you say to the other person "you've changed" you may encounter an answer like "no, I was always like this".

I think the worst thing a person can do to themselves is to make themselves believe a lie they created themselves, to ignore the warning signs. because in the end, the confusion of whether I was really blind or stupid, was the problem with me, or has he really changed, only makes everyone more tired.

This poem reflects everything perfectly. Your talent is felt in every word.

It wasn't your homeland. The homeland is in your brain. You'll be fine, and with this talent, there's no other way but to be fine...
and I also felt extremely relatable because i have a poem called "so-called home". When everyone experiences the same feelings it makes you realize that you are never alone but at the same time none of us are feel understood... i am here for you and i'll try my best to make you feel seen.

[Mk.t.g]

girl, your reviews always put the biggest smile on my face, like the effort in writing such a long review is honestly such a good feeling to know..
'We've all sometimes gotten meaning from a single smile... and it was mostly true.' 100% AGREED, AND COULDN'T AGREE MORE HONESTLY.

BRO IF MY POEMS REMIND YOU OF TAYLOR SWIFT, I NEED NOTHING MORE, I HAVE LIVED ENOUGH AND I HAVE LIVED A GOOD LIFE FOR BEING WORTHY ENOUGH TO BE COMPARED TO LEGIT MY FAVOURITE ARTISTS... (also tolerate it supremacy, always)

[Mk.t.g]

thanku for such good words, i shall send online rainbows and candies and colours (i dont know what i'm saying, but yeah, lol) YES, SO YOU R OFFICIALLY MY FAV PERSON ON HERE FROM NOW ON. LUVVVVV UUUU

[berenongur]

TAYLOR SWIFT GIRLS ALWAYS WRITE THE BEST POEMS!!!! evermore supremacy...

[Mk.t.g]

BRO LIKE FR