I can't believe he's gone

Reflecting on someone that died and not realizing it since it's been so long

Looking back it was all so real
Frozen in time
Cannot comprehend what I feel
Searching for what's ahead
He will never be mine
Not ever again

The sadness creeps like a prowler in the street. You don't realize it's upon you until it has taken you over. You fight off the prowler, you think you have done what's right. But why then, do you still cry?

I walk into the room and I see them.
The laughing, smiling faces all around me.
They conversate, carrying on in any normal way
Do they feel it?
Something is missing, I can tell.
Do they know or am I alone?

I go sit on the sofa next to nobody and that's when I'm certain.
I can't believe he's gone.

Author's Note

Not sure if this is a poem or a mini story...

Reviews

[Lovecraft]

Maybe both? This is NOT a bad poem, that's for sure. The second stanza is the only problem because of how it doesn't quite fit in terms of format with the rest.

This is quite good, as I lost my brother almost three weeks ago and it reminded me that I almost seem to hear him now and again. So that tells me that this poem is good.

Granted, it needs a bit of work, but I can see a fair amount of potential in this poem and that tells me your other unposted ones are not nearly as bad as you seem to believe. Good job. :)

[Nichole]

Thanks! Much appreciated. I've had this one for years. I wrote it when I was 19 I think... and never developed it any further

[Nichole]

All of my stuff consists of first drafts I never really edit or had any feedback so this is good. If u have any specific suggestions I'd like to hear.

[Lovecraft]

Hey, I nearly never edit any of my poetry at all. I post it then later I occasionally edit it. Otherwise I just leave it be unless people keep telling me to edit it, lol. I'm logging out soon, gonna crack out on some Diablo 2. ;D

[Lovecraft]

All you need to edit is the second stanza to make it look like the rest of the poem.