give and take

tw: mentions of eating disorders

i never knew how much i loved food,

till i went a week starving

because i wasn't good enough

I'm never good enough

I never knew how much I hated myself,

until i tried to get better

I don't deserve to nourish

this growing soul

I never knew how bad had gotten,

till i found myself on the bathroom floor

trying to erase your mistakes is pointless

but why not make it worse anyways

i never knew how weak I was,

till i finally lost control

a tornado through the kitchen

a hurricane through my heart

but perhaps tomorrow I'll learn to love myself

Or the cycle will just get worse