Family Tree

it’s hard to write about love;
when its just too painful

its hard to write about love;
that was supposed to be unconditional

suddenly you’re 10 again
alone in your room
trying to comprehend
a world so gloom
hurts to exist
hurting to exist
and you can’t understand
why oh why
you’re so damn alone

you’re 12 now and you can articulate
the pain into written poems
unspoken words
a quiet child in a restless mind
a heart that knew no bounds
falling into the arms of toxic lovers
heard you’re curious what innocence uncovers

focus,
get out of here
maybe a home wasn’t a home when you constantly fought to escape it
maybe a home wasn’t a home when it taught you hatred
maybe I’ll be the apple that falls off and runs far far away

20 is older but not wiser
my sweet silly child
how could you be so blind
the venom runs through your veins
forever bind
the roots are wild
coarse and vile
sorry I poisoned your life

welcome to adulthood
you’re so mature, right?
here’s the cycle
here’s the inner child
here’s the curse
are we done?
or do we like being in this victim’s mind?

it falls on me
to save the parts
that are still green
its up to me
to purify the soil
of noxious weeds

time is of essence
I insist that we heal
just fall my dear
I will always be here

its hard to right the love;
that was supposed to be unconditional
its hard to right a love;
that is just too painful