The End or The Begining

I awoke to an empty bed, "Drew?" I called while slowly sitting up. No answer. My imagination started to get the better of me and I thought of all the terrible things that could've happened to him, or that he got tired of my drama and decided to leave me, and that he'd never come back. I ripped the covers off of me, and practically hopped out of my bed, my feet froze on the wooden floors, but I didn't care; I needed to find Drew. I ran around the house. "Drew where are you?!" I shouted. The only answer I received was silence. Where could he be? I checked almost every room in the house, and there was absolutely no sign of him anywhere. Everything was the exact same as it was the night before.

"The kids," I whispered to myself as I bolted up the stairs into Mia's pink bedroom. She was lying fast asleep in her crib, and her old worn teddy bear was curled in her small arms. There in the corner of the room in the ancient rocking chair was Drew. His hair was messy, and his eyes were closed. I walked over, and knelt in front of him.

"Love, what are you doing in here?" I asked as his eyelids fluttered open.

"She was crying, so I came in here to try and calm her down, but I guess I fell asleep," he said yawning.

"Well, you scared me," I said playfully swatting his arm. My heartbeat slowly returned to its normal thumping pace.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I just didn’t want to have to wake you," he said with a blush slowly creeping onto his face.

"It's alright, Love. I got to go get a shower, and head to work. Would you mind watching the kids for me today?" I asked rubbing his arm lightly.

"You know I'll watch them. They're your siblings I love them just as much as I love my own sister," then he leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"Thank you, you should go get some sleep. In my bed, not a rocking chair," I said then I placed a kiss sweetly on his lips.

I went into the bathroom and stripped myself of my clothes. I got in the shower, and just let the water hit me. Each drop that landed on me washed away the worries that I had. Once the water turned cold, I regretfully shut it off, and wrapped a towel around my body, then padded down the hallway to my bedroom.

"Drew, are you awake?" I asked him holding the towel tighter around my small figure.

"Yeah," he said rolling over and looking at me. His eyes went wide, and a cocky grin was plastered on his face. "I could definitely get used to seeing this when I wake up."

"Oh, shut up. Close your eyes. I need to get clothes on," I said. Even though Drew and I had been dating for practically a year, he still hasn't ever seen me naked. The most revealing thing he had ever seen me in was a bikini, but that was before I had huge DD breasts.

"Why do you need to get clothes on, when I could easily just take mine off?" He laughed.

"Babe!" I groaned. The thought alone of sleeping with him made my cheeks redden. I knew that Drew wasn't a virgin, but I was. He never pressured me to sleep with him or anything, but he constantly talked and joked about it.

"Alright, my eyes are closed," he informed me. I walked to my closet, and picked out a peach colored skirt, and a white button down blouse. I turned around just to make sure his eyes were sealed, and he was being truthful.

"No peeking." Then I dropped my towel, and quickly put my clothes on. I walked over to the bed, and straddled Drew's hips. And kissed him. I pulled away, and his eyes were fully open. "I thought I told you not to open your eyes, what if I was naked?" I questioned.

"Well, I guess you might've been late for work then."

"Get over yourself, Babe," I said getting off of him. I knew that he wasn’t a virgin. When we were just friends, and he was with Carmin he made that very clear- all the time. I’m still a virgin having only dated guys when I was in middle school, and no guy has seen me naked before, and frankly I don’t even know what to do during sex, it all seems confusing, weird, and painful. "I have to get going."

"Alright, gimme a quick kiss before you leave." I did as he said and gave him a small peck on his lips. One kiss turned into two, two to three, and so on and forth.

"Baby, I really have to have to get going," I said in between kisses. I stood and grabbed my purse and jacket then left.

I started the chilly ten-minute walk to the ice cream shop/diner I worked at, Froyo's.

"Hey, Kriss, you're here, thank God," said a tired looking Jessica. Jessica was my manager, but she wasn’t even twenty-eight. Her hair was dark brown with platinum highlights in it, and pulled into a ponytail. She had black rimmed glasses, had her ears pierced, and a tattoo on her wrist that read I am not my past with small flower designs around it.

"Yeah I'm here. So how busy has it been today?" I asked slipping on my apron.

"It's been even more busy than what it should be, plus Sarah can't come in she’s ‘sick’, and Joe never showed up, so we're understaffed, and it's driving me crazy," she looked as if she were on the verge of tears.

"Calm down, I'll take the booths, and tables 1-5, you can take rest, okay," I said looking at the orders scheduled for me. Jessica simply nodded her head.

I made my way out of the kitchen holding a salad, two diet cokes, an iced tea, and a cheeseburger all for table 4. As I approached the table I noticed a pretty girl sitting with a tall boy, and to other prep looking girls. One of which was Carmin. Play nice I mentally reminded myself, I need this job.

"Okay, here we go two diet cokes, an ice tea, a salad, and a cheeseburger," I listed as I sat each item on the table, " My name is Kristen, and I'll be your server today. Is there anything else I can get for you folks?"

"A real waitress?" I heard Carmin snicker not so quietly, then she and the blonde next to her started laughing.

"Just call me if you guys need anything," I said with a fake smile.

As I was walking away I heard Carmin say, "What do we call her, w***e?" After she said that the table erupted in more giggles. I clenched the coffee pot I was holding, and did my best to blink away the tears in my eyes as I walked over to an elderly couple sitting in a booth.

"Do you guys need anything?" I asked still a little upset.

"Can we have a root beer float, dear? It's what we got when we came here on our first date," the grey haired woman said. "I remember it, because I ordered one, then tripped into this handsome man here and spilled my float, luckily he bought me another. Every year on our anniversary we come here. He asked me to marry him here exactly one year after we had our first date," she continued absent-mindedly. The man looked at her with true love in his old eyes.

"And by some miracle she said yes," he said quietly. He reached his hand across the table and held her wrinkled hands gently.

"Alright, I'll be right back with that float for you guys," I said then walked back into the kitchen to get them their float.

The elderly couple made me smile, not some fake smile, but a genuine smile that two people could love each other so much. Would Drew and I ever have that? I hoped so. I hoped that I could grow old with him, that we could be like them, and have some kind of cute tradition out by the river. But is any of that possible with the way things have gone with my parents?

The day went by slowly the elderly couple gave me a tip of $4, Carmin's table left me gum wrappers and a huge mess to clean, and the other tables left me some change. All together I had tips of $12.55.

"Jessica, I'm going for my break now," I said untying my apron and hangig it on the hook.

"Alright, Hun," Jessica said as she refilled drinks, I sat on the back steps of the diner to get away from the smell of greasy food. I pulled out my phone, and checked the text that Drew sent me.

New message from Drew:

Hey beautiful!!!!!! R u up 4 comin 2 my house 2nite? Love u!!!!!!

Received at 11:59am

I smiled at his text, and then sent a reply.

New message from Kriss:

Babe, I'm on my break now wanna bring the kids over so I can c u guys? Ur house sounds fine. Love u 2!!!! :)

Sent at 12:03pm

New message from Drew:

Sounds good we r on our way now c u in 10

Received at 12:06pm

I put my phone in my pocket, and continued to work, until sure enough ten minutes after     I received Drew's text, he and my two siblings were just entering the mostly empty    building, "Hey guys! Do you want to get some lunch?" I asked as I hugged Drew, and ruffled Jake's messy hair. Unlike me he and Mia had brown hair that was straight.

"Not hungry," pouted Mia.

"Okay, well the rest of us are hungry. Do you want pudding at least?"  I asked the small toddler, and she nodded her head. I lead them all to an empty booth. Drew sat on one side of it, and Jake and Mia were opposite of him. Jake ordered a small pepperoni pizza, Mia got her chocolate pudding, and Drew ordered nachos, but I ate most of them, as I would walk by the table. Since there weren't many people in the restaurant I got to sit with them, and they filled me in on how their day was.

I was told that they went to mine and Drew's park, Drew taught Jake how to throw a perfect spiral with his football, Drew made them eggs and bacon for breakfast, then they watched Disney movies with Mia.

In that moment at on old, stinky diner everything was absolutely perfect. Just seeing the way my boyfriend interacted with my siblings, and the genuine love he had for them made my heart leap.

I got pulled from my thoughts by the annoying ring of my cell. "Hello?" I asked not bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Kriss? Thank God! Are you guys okay, I've been worried si-"

"Mom, stop!" I shouted earning looks from everyone in the tiny building. I checked to find Jessica, and told her I needed to take this call. I walked outside, so that I wouldn't cause my siblings any more pain than what they have already suffered. "Now you can talk," I stated making sure she heard the power in my tone.

"Kristinna, I am so sorry for fighting with your father. Can you ever forgive me?" She said pathetically.

Forgive her? I couldn't hold my anger in any longer. How could she even think that I could forgive her for what she did to the kids? "Forgive you! You left the kids alone; they could've gotten seriously hurt. Not to mention that you gave them mental scars- poor Jake doesn't think you'll come back, and I'm starting to agree with him, hell I’m starting to hope you don't come back," I stated coldly.

"Kristinna Dawn Maria Miller! Do not say that to me! I've been nothing, but good to you and your younger siblings, I've never left them alone, but yes I have made some bad choices, but so have you! So you have no room to talk bad about me!" She shouted through the receiver.

"The bad I've done is nothing compared to you leaving them, you left them with dad- a drunk part time worker, wow mom, good move on your part! Real freaking parenting skills there," I sneered. "Mom! I'm going to take the kids, and stay with Drew tonight, that’s final, goodbye." I said in a monotone voice. I put my phone in my back pocket, and went back inside to Drew.

"Everything okay?" He asked me quietly.

"Yeah, but can we stay at your place tonight?"

"Of course, baby. I'm going to go pay the bill, you’ll finish your shift, then we can get a few things from your house if you need to, and then I can get Megan to pick us up, okay?" He explained.

"Thank you," I answered.

I finished the last couple hours on my shift while Drew and the kids sat at the counter and watched cartoons on the TV hung from the ceiling. We walked back to my house, and I hurriedly packed clothes for Mia and me, while Jake got his own bag around.

"Okay, I think I'm ready," I said.

"Alright, Megan should be here soon, I already called her," he said.

Soon enough a car horn sounded outside, and we all filed into the small Pries. The drive to Drew's home was silent, Mia fell asleep, and Jake played on his iPod. After what seemed like an eternity we pulled into the long, gravel driveway. The sun was just starting to set behind the trees, and the light sparkled off of the small pond in the yard. The large brick house looked like it had been pulled straight out of a storybook.

"Drew? Can grab my bags for me? I need to wake Mia up?" I asked as the car was pulled to a stop.

"Yeah."

I unbuckled her from her car seat, and she started to come back from her sleepy state. I followed Drew and his sister to the large home with Jake at my heel.

"Drew? Megan, is that you?" called Drew's mother from the kitchen.

"Yeah, it's us mom," replied Megan.

The bright blue-eyed, blonde haired lady emerged from the kitchen wearing an apron covered with flour. Drew looked nothing like his mother, except for her eyes. Megan, on the other hand, looked strikingly similar to Sally. In all honesty it’d be hard to tell that Megan and Drew were siblings unless you actually knew them.

"Hey Kriss. It's been so long since I've seen you, you need to come around more," she said pulling me into a hug.

"I missed you guys so much," I said hugging her back. It was true, I missed spending weekends here like I used to, but with everything going on it’s been hard to find time to come over here.

"Is that Jake?" She asked motioning to my little brother.

"Yeah, that's him, introduce yourself, Jake, and this little one here is Mia," I said.

"Hello Mrs. Blake." He spoke quietly.

"Please dear call me Sally, being called Mrs. Blake makes me feel old.” She replied to him. “ They're adorable, Kriss," she complimented.

"Thank you."

"Well, don't just stand there, come on in, and sit down."

We followed Drew and Sally into the living room, Mia wobbled her way to the fish tank, Jake sat on the floor, and played on his iPod, I sat on the couch next to Drew, and listened as his mother told me stories of his childhood. We stopped chatting just long enough to go eat a warm homemade chicken, mashed potatoes, and salad that Sally made. After we finished supper, and I helped her and Megan get everything cleaned up we resumed our spots on the sofa, and continued our light conversation.

"Hang on, let me see if I can find that photo album," Sally said as she left the room laughing.

"I'm sorry about her," Drew apologized pulling me into his side.

"It's fine, I like hearing about this kind of stuff," I replied kissing his cheek.

“What, all the embarrassing childhood memories I have?” he groaned.

“Yes, and the not embarrassing ones. I like hearing about everything.” I was there for most of his childhood, but those moments when I wasn’t around it’s good to hear about.

"Here it is," she chimed coming back into the room.

She sat next to me, and opened the large album.

We looked at picture after picture until the sun could hardly be seen, and the sky was turning a dark shade of blue.

"Baby, I'm starting to get tired." I said quietly into his shoulder.

"Alright Hun, let me show Jake and Mia the room their room, and then we can go to bed. Go on and head to my room," he answered.

"Okay," I obliged.

I walked into his bedroom, and saw the unmade bed, the clothes strewn all over the floor, the empty dishes scattered.

"Sorry, about the mess," he said sheepishly when he walked in.

"It’s fine, babe." I told him. And it was totally fine, it's his room I shouldn't talk bad about it considering that he's letting me and my younger siblings stay here without asking any questions.

"I'll clean the room if you want me to real quick, or at least make the bed?" He offered.

"It's fine, right now I just want to go to sleep," I answered truthfully.

"Okay, do you want me to go grab your bag out of the living room?"

"Yes please," I said.

"Alright, Love, just lay here, and I'll go get your stuff for you," he said.

"Thank you."

He left the room and returned moments later with my bag slung over his shoulder. "Here you go, beautiful," he said placing the bag on the floor near me.

I grabbed a pair of shorts and a tank top, and then went to get dressed. When I came back Drew was already laying in the bed in nothing but a pair of plaid pajama pants. I curled myself into his arms, and his breathing faltered for a moment. His hair was sticking up, and the freckle on his chest was showing, he looked more muscular than the last time I’d seen him shirtless, but I was certainly not complaining.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked turning to face him.

"You," he evenly replied.

"Okay, well, what about me?"

"How there's never a good time," he replied almost inaudibly.

By this point I was beyond confused.

"Good time for what?"

"To talk. To ask you something. To just have us time," he replied getting annoyed.

"We're talking right now," I stated with much more attitude than necessary.

"You know that's not what I meant!"

"Anymore I don't know what you mean, Drew! I don't even know who you are!" I screamed.

"What are you saying?" He asked quieting down.

"I don't think I can keep doing this. I need to focus on Jake and Mia, I'm sorry. I told Jake that if it really came down to it I would choose them before you, and that’s what I have to do, but trust me when I say it’s not what I want to do. Please don’t blame them, I knew I had to do it; Jake just helped me make up my mind a little more. I just need to be there for them, and I can’t focus on you and them," I said willing myself not to cry.

"You don't mean that," he choked out.

"Drew, please don't make this any harder for either of us," I begged.

"How can I not make this any harder? You can't breakup with me," tears were stinging his eyes now. “I love you,” he whispered.

I wanted to tell him that I loved him, and that he would be the only man I would ever love, but he didn’t need to hear that, and I knew if I told him that I couldn’t go through with telling him goodbye. So, I simply said, “Drew…”

“Don’t do this,” he begged letting a tear fall.

"What else am I supposed to do?" I asked.

"You can marry me," he said. My heart stopped, and I drew in a sharp breath.

"What?" I asked quietly knowing that I heard him right, but not wanting to believe it. I've wanted this forever, but was he really offering me marriage right now? I just told him the most heart shattering news of my life, but now he’s offering me marriage. Was he only doing this to try to get me to stay with him, or does he really want me to marry him, to be his forever?

"Kriss, please make me the happiest man in the world and marry me. You’re my Heaven, my Earth, my world, and it’d be Hell not being able to ever hold you again. You and I both know that ‘just friends’ would never work with everything we’ve been through, I’ve come too far just to lose you now.

“I know we're both still young, but I know that we both love each other more than anything. I'll get another job and we can move into a house together, I want you to be in my future. You aren’t just a part of my future; you are my future. I never had a ‘plan B’ you are everything to me so don’t leave me. I want you to be my wife we'll get through this together, and we'll face every other challenge together, please don't break up with me. We can run away and do whatever you want, there's a church down the road we can go there and get hitched right now if that's what you really want or we could wait thirty years and have a huge fancy wedding, its up to you, as long as you’re the bride and I’m the lucky guy, but please don't leave me. I don't want to have to live without you. When we started dating I told you I wasn't like other guys, so let me prove it to you. If not today then tomorrow, or next week, or even a year from now, I won’t give up on you, ever. Marry me instead of leaving me, please," he said getting down on one knee.

This is what I've always wanted, to marry Drew, but now that the offers here I'm not sure what I want. I know that I want to spend forever with him, but I need to focus on my siblings. He understands that, doesn't he? Marry me his words kept replaying through my head.

My heart was pounding, and tears were soaking my face, I knew what I wanted my answer to be, but I needed to prove it to myself that he truly loved me.

“Promise you’re not just doing this to try to get me to stay with you, promise you actually love me, that you really want this.”

“I want this more than anything, I would’ve asked you yesterday, or last week, but there was never a good time. There still isn’t. So, will you marry me? I know this is a lot to handle, but you need to know how I feel before you decide if your going to make the biggest decision for both of our lives.”

"Drew, I- yes, I'll marry you," I said crying happy tears.

"I love you, baby," he said kissing me over and over again. I knew that I made the right choice. I couldn't imagine my life with Drew in it, and I wouldn't want to, he's helped me through so much already, and I knew that if I gave him the chance he would continue to help me through everything.

"I love you too," I said kissing him sloppily. The salty taste of our tears mixed with the minty taste of his breath.

He pulled away. "I have a ring," he said.

"What?" I asked.

He walked over to his dresser, and pulled out a small velvet box. He walked back over to me, and opened it. A small silver ring sparkled inside. It had a large diamond in the center with two smaller diamonds on both sides of the larger one. On the inside of the band it had the date 9/ 24/ 12 the day we started dating. I slid the ring on my left hand, and it fit perfectly.

"It's beautiful," I whispered. It truly was, the light caught the largest diamond, and made it sparkle.

“I thought you'd like it," he answered. He let out a small yawn, and wrapped his arms around me pulling me into a tight hug. "Do you wanna go to bed now?" He asked.

I got a sudden burst of confidence. "I think I have a better idea," I said kissing his neck seductively. He leaned into me, and grabbed my waist.

“Are you sure you want to do this, baby?” he asked looking at me with concern.

“I’m sure,” I said kissing him harshly.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to, Kriss.”

“Just shut up and kiss me,” I laughed silencing him. He obliged, and kissed me back sloppily.