Alone in a World

Alone in a World

The road I travel feels alone; the end is nearing and instead of the road diverging it's just a brick wall. Even if I wanted to turn back around and try something different I can't; I can't turn back because what's behind me is too dark and powerful for me to overcome. It's like I feel the gun in the back of my head and can feel that the trigger could be pulled at any given moment. However, my inner demons like putting me in this predicament of not knowing when that time will come. I don't know which is worse, not knowing when the trigger will be pulled or walking alone on this road with no directions and hoping that I see pedestrians and still end up on a dead end? Before I ended up on this road I once used to be in a room. But, even in a room filled with many individualsI still felt like the only person there that was empty. Everything was in color but I was gray, meaning that I’m ambivalent. Why can’t things simply be black and white? Why do I always have to end up in the gray area? I was hoping that  a person would  attempt to save me, but let’s face it, I’m forever alone. Every step becomes harder to take, each foot gets harder to lift and each breath becomes harder to attain. Sometimes I get discouraged when my eyes open the next day because now it’s another day that I have to internally suffer, pretend I’m ok and throw salt on my already open wounds. My face becomes drenched from my internal well of tears as I look at myself in this sea of hopelessness waiting for a wave to just crash into me and take me under into all eternity. I feel so alone that even when I echo it never reaches the surface of the ocean. I’m tired of crying endlessly. I’m tired of piecing my broken self together. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. Alone in this world that I have forever felt, sadly now is time to deal with the cards that I have been dealt. Back again at this road farewell world, sorry but you treated me so cold.

Reviews

[Coffee Vampier]

Trigger to the back of your head, ever felt a gun forced into your hands? I have been for 18 months at least in a void of emotional empty sound. As for color, I forgot about color and shades I walked through movie frames. Color leaves nothing but black and white to regress to. I've walked into rooms and seen and not heard to be seen and not heard by other people's wills. As for salt, I had four seconds of drunk of cuts all over me that weren't there by my own hands, cleaned with rum as a sober never had. It's empty in a public bathroom with the pains of music and highlights of damned as a good person with people who say they love you and I'm sure my mother and father tried but they never knew the power of empty. The power of emptiness is a succubi of pain and a pain of paralysis. As for cold it's not even emotional its so dead inside.

[NelliKong]

Thank you for sharing, You're not alone and as you write your voice is still noticed.

[Coffee Vampier]

I wish I could write more of my truth it feels like my souls are attached to the opposite the same these days.

[NelliKong]

You can always write your truth, all you have to do is pick up the pen

[The_Ancient_Rock]

Please try... endure.

If I am able...

Then so are you!

You must be!

Believe me!

The WORLD... needs you...

And way more...

All the people... just like you.

Soldier on!

Hey... if it get us... K... or even... M...

Not really... our free will... or... choice.

Blessed be!

[NelliKong]

Thank you for the comment I appreciate it

[Sauti_Ukweli]

This was very well written. Such a passionate, poignant portrayal of one of the issues in life that is more frightening than the actual gun itself, loneliness. I felt your pain through the words.

[NelliKong]

Thank you for the comment. I really appreciate the feedback

[Babbette Francis]

The author leaves me questioning how you would know such feelings unless they are experiencing it for themselves. There is more than just a talent to convey the meaning of loneliness and despair in the words. Great job if you're just using pure talent! But honestly... I'll be praying for you if this is your heart in these words.

[NelliKong]

I appreciate this comment. Means a lot.

[J Todd Underhill]

Wow, great read. I assure you though you may feel alone in this world there are many walking similar paths. This world is a crazy place. Enjoyed the read and will be back for more soon.

[NelliKong]

Thank for the comment. Happy you enjoyed reading it.

[Chris]

I have never said it better myself. So many ARE there right now..

[NelliKong]

Thank you for the comment