The Forest Path

I walk along the forest path unseen
Traps lay put awaiting those who follow me
You stray into my arms
A little mouse lost in this maze

Have you found what you desire at last?
Walk along the path unseen
Avoid the hidden traps perfectly
Until you fall into my arms
This is what you always wanted

I found the traps hidden in my heart all along
You came here into the last one
My heart
A deaf sigh falls on my ears
You have followed the path carefully
The forest wants you to itself

Walk until you die from exauhstion
You life floats away from the forest path
The gratest trap set so far was love
You fell pray to it without a thought
As you sought me on the forests path
I am no longer here

Reviews

[Silent Knight]

interesting

[PokemonFan#1]

In the beginning, I was imediantally thinking of, "Alice in Wonderland". Well actually, I thought of it the whole time I was reading it.
The mouse was the Dorm Mouse, and the speaker was transitioning to the Chechire Cat and the Mad Hatter.
Its possable the ending could be where Alice is getting out of her dream and coming back to reality, but by finding a lover waiting for her.

.....

I really don't know why I was thinking of "Alice in Wonderland".... Maybe it was my Jack picture+Pandora Hearts???
....
No, I don't think that's it.....)

So anyway, I really loved this one a lot! Keep it up!

[Lily Mae]

Interesting concept.. I think you've taken your readers on a journey of pain and suffering through this maze called heart... well written..x

[Kenneth The Poet]

A nice trip through the forest called lapsed memory.

[Warren L.G De Mills]

Couple grammatical errors like "the gratest (greatest) trap set"-last stanza 3rd line and "You(Your) life floats" last stanza second line. Other than that it was a decent piece. Loose black verse structure and an interesting topic. Keep it up and always strive to be better!