Captured

countless eyes watch you sleep

senseless feelings draw you closer

can you take the pain?

as time flies by without a sound

the music plays

but you do not dance

the food is hot

but you do not eat

my hand is warm

but you do not hold it

can you really take the strangers eyes

boring down on your form

you want to let him burn

let me watch you sleep

let me watch you wait

let me watch you scream

let me watch you run

your breath is hot

my hands are cold

breathe into me

my love

my hate

death

despair

waste away, my little toy

in your tiny cage

is your life flashing before your eyes?

was it all worth it?

Reviews

[Sashalee]

i loooove it!!!!

[L]

I like this: so deep and different. I've read it several times now and I don't know what it is about this poem; maybe it's sinister-but-not-quite undertone or maybe it's just the unwritten feeling behind the words, but either way- excellent write :)

[emma]

I simply loved this! I really liked the second stanza for some reason. 'My hand is warm but you do not hold' that was my favourite line. It was just one of those lines that popped out at me and I really liked it. My only critique is the title. This has been up since October 18 and only one other person has reviewed it! The only logical explanation is that the title didn't draw people in. Just a thought, but thats what I think. Don't change anything if you don't want to:)! Anyways, I love the poem and great job. Keep up the great work! Oh and I gave you 100/100.

[TheRavenQueer]

This is amazing. The final verse really caught my attention:

"waste away, my little toy
in your tiny cage
is your life flashing before your eyes?
was it all worth it?"

Was it all worth it? The last line hit me like a ton of bricks. Simple, yet powerful. Brilliant write. :)