I can't let go

Ill take your corpse with me

even though its forbidden

I know I'm a sinner

but does that make me a bad person?

Your hand feels so cold

unlike those nights so long ago

my love has faded, yes its true

but your blue eyes tell me not to go

i cannot let go of you, even in death

i am shallow, selfish and weak

i need your mind, body and soul

or i will be incomplete

as we lay under the stars, i send a small prayer

please let us stay her forever

and let the dawn never come

Reviews

[Libby McKeown]

I think if you incorporate more metaphor or imagery it would strengthen the impact of this poem. It does have a nice sort of rhythm to it, but it has a lot of cliche that detracts from the work. There are a million poems just like this, that say it exactly this way. How do you take something that's been said so many times before and make it new? original? How can this be different than what's already out there?

[Silent Knight]

beautiful.

[Imagination-mage]

this is a very powerful poem about love, this is truly beautiful

[Alewis]

this was really good and i like your first stanza :) good job