Daughters of the sun

This is an excerpt from a book i was thinking of starting, this isn't too far in, does it sound like it's worth continuing?

We stood atop the mountain, looking across the rolling waves of the sea. Dark, ominous clouds began to roll in from the north, bringing with them the heavy scent of rain. I clutched my hands into fists, before turning to Dante, who leaned against a nearby tree, arms crossed in front of him.

“How are we supposed to get to the island now?” I shouted. He cocked his head to the side and cupped his ear, as if he hadn't heard me. I repeated my words, with much more force, not wanting to get closer to him than I needed to.

Dante did the same as before, feigning that he couldn't hear a word I said. I stomped my foot indignantly . I could tell he was chuckling, the way his chest moved. Dante then uncrossed his arms and began moving toward me, his strides long and focused.

As he drew closer, I began to back away. I could still feel the fear in my chest from before, since it had been less than twenty four hours since he tried to kill me. Stumbling backwards, I crashed to the ground. Cursing under my breath, I looked up, to see Dante leaning over me, his hand extended to help me up.

I stood on my own, looking him in the eyes as I did so. He frowned and leaned close to me. “listen, princess. I like you about as much as you like me. But if you want to save your sister, I suggest you adopt a sweeter attitude, at least until we make it to the island.”

I gritted my teeth, jerking away from him. He snickered and whispered harshly. “Just remember what I said. If it weren't for me, I doubt you would have even made it this far. Show a little appreciation.”

Dante turned and began to walk back toward the temple. I sighed, sometimes I really couldn’t stand that guy. But if I was going to get to the island, and to the Shades, I would need both his and Ryuu’s help. 

Reviews

[quinfinn]

sounds like a good beginning and you have piqued interest from the outset. i think you meant to use the word indignantly when you "stamped your foot" indigently has an entirely different meaning (actually, indigent is a word meaning "of the area"). it is nice to see you on here again, it has been some time! welcome back.....

[Mika Haruna]

Thank you! I've been really busy lately with being a sophmore and all of the piled up homework, but I'll be on here a lot more often now(:

[LochnezzMonster]

Oh- this is brilliantly done. It draws me in and makes me ask many questions- no small feat. I love how I get a feel of Dante's character. I can almost imagine him as a sarcastic, quite, wise guy. I believe you should defiantly continue you on with this and put me out of my misery because I would personally read that book.

[Larry Dyson]

Yes..definately ..good characters and alude to the plot! Laury

[Noah]

My curiosity is peaked and I would definitely follow the story if you were to continue it. This is a great beginning.