Gluttony

I wanted this to be as sweaty, primal, and disgusting as possible.

This true meaning of heat and sweat and tiger stripes.
They are beasts born with sadistic savagery glinting in human eyes;
Eyes as green as the wet, peeled grapes of their feral feast.
Doomed always to submit to an insatiable hunger.

They soak in their sin, they crave it like the musty air they breathe.

Their cries for more, more, more, merely slug across the humid air.
To reach their means they must stalk this jungle of vanilla pudding,

Manes like Medusa's many snakes; but over-indulgence has replaced stone.

Gross amounts of fat and fur ripple shadows on these grinning beasts.

Their sticky tongues loll from paw to claw;

Their over-heated carcasses swing lazily from left to right;

And right to left, unafraid, gleeful, a lustful fermentation.

In this nonsense jungle of dreary, duck fat dreams, I am trapped;

Wandering blindly, tripping over their groaning, obese corpses.

They dream of capturing me, but from their early graves they can not stir.

Instead feigning fatigue of falling on their fat, greased hinds.

But I am still afraid; yes, I am simply terrified of their heaving masses.

But worse than that, I am terrifyingly simple in my disgust at their passed gasses;
For these striped hunters seek to capture my hopes for their hunger,
And bottle them to best feast off my fear.

Author's Note

This was inspired by this picture book in my spanish teacher's classroom, which had all these creepy cartoon tigers on the front with large, slanted, pale green human eyes that were too large for their heads and large rolling tongues that spilled from the side of their mouth to the floor below.
Additionally, they were all wearing smocks. Enough to give a regular person nightmares.
Enough to give me this insanity.
As stated above, it was my goal to make this as gross as possible. I wanted to demonstrate my horror at the images. Believe me, they were CREEPY.
(c) Neko Green 2010

Reviews

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the idea is great, and the third stanza has some grotesque (sp?) imagry, but if your main idea was to make this really creepy and horrific, you might want to push it a bit futher, you have some really good words in there but i just dont get the creepy feel or the horror that you obviously was taken by when you saw the images. prehaps some more discriptions of the horrific actions these uggly creates might perform that would cause nightmares, and prehaps a bit more emotion would drive the idea of your disgust. being just "afraid" and "terrified" dont seem to be strong enough. i think its a really good start, but i get the feeling you could do better with it. hope this helps, and im just one person with one opion, if your happy with it as is, thats what is important! good on you for putting this piece out there :)