Stars

This is an edited version of a poem I wrote when I was 13.

There once was a girl who wasn’t the same

She stayed up all night until the sun came

Watching the stars as they sang their song

She would listen to them all night long

Other people laughed, pointed, and jeered

They pushed her and beat her and mocked her with sneers

But she would not leave the beauty she found

Even if it meant being knocked to the ground

Every night she spoke to the moon

And he told her she would escape it all soon

The stars twinkled, shimmered, and shined

Telling her that it was almost her time

There once was a girl who wasn’t the same

But people soon marveled at what she became

She conversed with the moon and sang with the stars

In the end, it turned out, her beauty went far

Reviews

[alifeacoustic]

I still talk to the moon when I look up at it and think of those people I know far from me that might just be looking at it too. I love the solitude of watching the stars at night, when all around is still and you can actually hear your own thoughts and sit in wonder, quietly contemplating life.
It's one of those quirks of life that when we are young, most feel the need to fit in and comply with those around them, yet when we are older, we begin to strive for that uniqueness and individuality that was not so long ago mocked. To remain the same and be true to yourself is something that the girl should take pride in. It is only other people's insecurities of themselves that they are deflecting onto her.
Thank you for sharing a beautiful and thought provoking write.

[Hogwarts]

Thank you very much!

[TheWynnedow]

Wow, I really loved this. The rhyming was fabulous, it wasn't trying too hard like some rhyming poems. It flowed so smoothly and I loved the topic too. Great work!

[Rebecca]

I really love the repetition with the first line and how it was repeated at the start of the last stanza. My favourite line is definitely, "Every night she spoke to the moon." My one suggestion is if you want to try moving around the stanza order, so maybe the third stanza becomes the second and see what happens, especially with the first stanza focusing on the imagery of night and the stars and then you could go into the imagery with the moon.

[Bohrium Guy]

Awesome, I really felt the emotions in this piece, great job!

~Rob~

[Rose Jaeger Kaneki]

wow, this is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Gaia Octavia]

I really liked this. Very nice imagery. Especially the singing stars. I could almost hear their song at the end, celebrating the beauty of their friend. Nice job!

[Hogwarts]

Thank you! That is very encouraging. Glad you liked it :)

[lily]

I can't even come up with the words to describe how beautiful this was. Thank you so much for sharing.

[Hogwarts]

That means a lot to me, thank you :)

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Such a lovely and inspirational poem thanks for sharing

[Johnny]

Excellent poem Neeley!! It sounds just great!! Perfect flow and the last set of verses clinch it nicely!

[Hogwarts]

Thanks! I appreciate it!

[Insight "MH"]

"She conversed with the moon and sang with the stars
In the end, it turned out, her beauty went far"
These two lines are really good I love them so much, and the poem in all is so lovely. The poem showed how someone can evolve to be better, in fact, to become so great.

Insight.

[78Jon]

Beautiful poem. Is it describing yourself?

[Hogwarts]

Thank you :) Yes, it is.