The Sieve

The sieve of life strains you in its snare
sifting through thoughts and emotions
like a falling between the cracks
that no one sees, the ones hidden
in your bosom and left there even
after your death.  The filter of everyday life
shakes off the rawness of your passing
so that I may survive you by keeping
myself distracted enough while holding
tight to who you are - who you were -
in life and now in death, a haunting
guilt of being without you and living on.

And there are days that I weed through
memories like pictures in an album,
desperately trying to remember the better
you and I, laughing, crying, fashioning
a bond from the tears in my eyes
and the tender of your hands, the wit
of your joy and the brunt of its effects,
and I wonder: has it been a month?
Or a lifetime away when all I want to hear
is your voice and your direction.

Author's Note

Recently, my best friend's mother passed away, and her death has shocked my mind and stilled my hand. In response, I did what I do whenever I'm shocked into silence; I wrote about it. This poem is written from my best friend's perspective.

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Overwhelmingly emotional write. Time is so relative. There are times I feel my mother passed away a lifetime ago, but in reality it is just over 3 years. Then there are times I feel she was with me yesterday......emotions and memories mold our perceptions like a potter molds clay. Karen, I am sure your friend was very touched by this outpouring of emotion. Heartfelt writing. Lydi**

[Karen]

It seems that death is as ageless as time itself, existing in a timeless continuum where we have have trouble determining how long ago death took place, and oftentimes we do this because our lives become so busy we ignore the emptiness inside until we stop to feel.

Thank you for reading my poem!

[Sana Ajarour]

I'm so sorry for you friend's mother. May she rest in peace. Though it is very difficult to convey the exact sensation when one is sadned and gloomy, but your poetry managed to expose a good porpotion of the emotions experienced. I love the diction used; it is very touching and genuinely expressive.

[Karen]

Thank you, Sana. My emotions were pretty raw when I wrote this, and most often than not, I cannot even read it to myself again without tearing up.