2000 Crows

What happened earlier today, 21.11.2017

I was taking my son to the playground, known as "wooden-city."  A few sprinkles of rain had come down, adding a dark-dampness to the already cool twilight.  I didn't think it was going to rain...

When we arrived, I took my son out of his tricycle, and put him on the grass to go run over to the slide, but he just stopped and said (in his cute trying-to-imitate-me-voice): "whoaaa!"  I looked, and was taken slightly aback by the mass of crows gathering on the trees surrounding the park.  There were so many, it gave me a strange thought: if these crows wanted me dead, there would be little I could do.  All I would do, is cover my son that he might survive.  Such a strange thought...

But now it's back to playtime.  He's a little shy, or perhaps just cold, so I run up the wooden ramp.  He laughs and gives chase.  I'm glad I did, because the slide is a little wet, and I don't want him to catch another cold...  It's up on daddy's lap for the first time down the slide!  Ah, now he's playing on his own, too bad there are no other kids at the playground.  But, I don't want to interfere with him too much...

At some point I look and see that the sky is filled with crows flying towards us, landing on the surrounding trees.  My god!  Look at them all!  If you look closely at the trees...  The trees!  They are beautiful!  It's as if I'm looking at them for the first time!  Stripped of leaves, there bare branches reaching for the sky, they appear as the nervous fibers of gaea herself, reaching for the heavens!  And how many ends are there?  Too many to count, at least for now.  But how many crows are there?  First count 5, then extrapolate 10, then 20...  there's 100 right on those trees, that means over there there must be at least 500, that means... there can be no less than 2000 crows surrounding our playground!

What does that mean?  If you've ever watched crows before, you would know that they are not stupid.  I've seen them, they are quite social even.  If you seek their company, to feed them bread or whatever, they won't trust you like a pigeon.  They'll keep there distance, maybe send out a few scouts to keep an eye on you.  If there are pigeons around, they will let the pigeons close the distance first, and when they are satisfied (or you are familiar to them), then they will accept your gifts.  I can't blame them for not trusting us, really.

But 2000 crows...  I have had a thought lately, about thought and communication, and consciousness...  Because they are communicating.  Surely, their language isn't as "evolved" as our spoken languages, or formal logical languages, but they still convey information amongst themselves.  Either through the trademarked caw, or the subtle primordial languages that humans are beginning to better understand through psychology.

So how smart is a crow?  How intelligent?  I'm not the type to think that the only way to measure intelligence is the technology you surround yourself with, nor the problems you are personally capable of solving.  Indeed, how much are you personally capable of, without any help?  If you were left in the middle of the woods, would you be able to build a house?  An arch?  Could you go make a useful container for water?  If you were sent back in time 1000 years, what mathematics could you offer to the great minds of the time?  No, a comparison of intelligence, between species, must be measured by some other metric, some other sort of natural order, one which I don't dare to comprehend, nor intend to explore here.

But, I'm pretty sure that 2000 crows together are more intelligent than I, by any standard that would be relevant to both the crows and I.  So, what are they thinking?  What is the measure of their combined thought?  Surely, it is more powerful than the sum of their individual thoughts.  Where is my son?

Ah, he's smiling, pushing his tricycle.  I would never let him out of my sight, regardless of what happens in my dreams.  I love him to much, damn my thoughts, have them; I'll never surrender to the power of my own mind at the expense of him!

The crows, the flock, their society, their center square gathering above in the treetops, what a strange sensation!  It's true terror, the kind that you feel in the center of your chest.  But, no, I needn't fear here, my intentions are pure; to love my son, to give his mother the man she deserves, I seek not power for my sake!  I'm curious, I will go as far as I can, but damn it all before I surrender to the power of my own mind at the expense of them!

But the crows!  What are THEY thinking?  What is that one specific crow thinking!  Look at such a majestic bird, carrying a twig somewhere!  And those two, engaging in an aerial dance that we could never approach, never understand!  What secrets do these creatures share with themselves?  Do they not look at me as well?  Do they not see the beauty of a father, playing silly games with his son?  As they are also want to do?  Do they not sense my fear, transformed into awe?  Is there not some common sense of life, of justice, of honor?

And then he appeared!  Well, he didn't appear, he walked down the path like any other old man would, cane in hand.  But he appeared to me, first as a sound, a swooshing in the air, followed by the roar of 200 birds taking to flight, the screeching of warning and anger and laughter and chaos!..  No, this is not chaos...  The old man, about 100 meters down the path, was swinging his cane around above his head!  The cylindrical wooden staff cutting through the air made a distinct, loud sound, and this little ritual was manifesting such an effect!

I would be lying if I said I didn't believe in sorcery, in fact I claim that while most people may not believe in the craft, they exercise it on a daily basis!  And this man, what a beauty!  They say a wizard is never late, nor early, but arrives precisely when he is intended to.  Well, as I stood watching the effects of this most ancient cast, my thoughts first turned to sympathy.  Was this man such a disturbance?  No, it's not that simple, the birds would just leave, or protest, but instead they seemed to be flowing in a circular manner.

Did they see me?  I could just stand and observe, with my son in the lower corner of my eye.  I picked out one bird, and followed it as long as I could.  Then I tried to take it all in... Such power!  How much force is being applied at the beckon of the old man?  How much power has he conjured?  How much energy is being expended on his whim!  I suppose he's made his point, as he's now approaching me.

I'm not a native speaker of the Croatian language, so I prepare my thoughts in my mind, the words to use, check for grammar.  A slight rehearsal should be in order to approach such a grand practitioner.  In English, the conversation went:

Me:   "Good Evening."

Him: "Good Evening."

Me:   "You know, I've counted, and I can say that there are at least 2000 crows in our surroundings."

Him: "You mean all around?"

Me:   "Yes, yes."

Him: "Ha, too many I'd say."  What he said next I'm not 100% sure, but he describes swinging his cane around and getting them to move.

Me:   "Haha, yes.  Beautiful."

Him: "A nice song."

Me:   "Yes, indeed."

Watching the crows move in the way they do, it reminds me of the physics I've been reading about lately, about energy and flow.  The idea is that Energy "wants" to reduce, whatever object you have in mind, it should move in a way that reduces the amount of energy it has.  The simplest (and perhaps most adequate) way to think about this would be to imagine water flowing down a hill; it move from "high potential energy" to low, and does so according to the "path of least resistance."  One thing I've never seen taken into account in these types of scenarios is intelligence, free will.  This force always has the ability to resist the "path of least resistance," at least to some extent...  Only to some extent, because... Wait, where's my son?

Well, look at this little guy!  He wants to push his trike up the hill!  I'll give him a little help here and there, but he's pretty strong and can do what he wants for the most part, he just needs to learn to be patient, to not get so quickly upset when he struggles.  I mean, I do too.  In fact, it would be an understatement to say that he's taught me more patience than I've taught him (and some people may question the intelligence of children!)  Well, it's time to go back home, so I'll put him on the trike and let him nibble on his chocolate treat.

But, now that he's safe, secured, the brain goes into overdrive!!!   Where were we...  Ah yes, potential energy!  The true accomplishment of man!  To sacrifice suffering and to obey free will at the expense of instant satisfaction of the appetite, and why?  Because it can make us stronger!  It can extend the progeny!  It IS in keeping with the NATURAL order!  And the crows!  To crowded, to close, to loud!  The man came, and all he did was tilt the scales!  Imagine, if you will, a giant cloud suspended above a mountain!  Sure, you can keep filling it with water, but eventually it will burst!  From order, to CHAOS!  Then, god help you if you stand in between the water and the forces of nature directing its movement!  This is "flash-flooding" which any desert dweller is certainly keenly aware of.  Such is the power, such is the Force! when this energy is released back to the natural forces, when it is given the freedom it so desperately seeks!

And it's not just clouds, nor crows!  Man itself follows this true law!  Look into your own heart!  Do you not see the energy flow?  Do you not see your own potential?  Do you not see this pattern in history?  Look only to Chronos!  Righteous leader above time!  His order was perfect, but his reign tyrannical!  He consumed his own children for the fear that they may upset the balance, the righteousness, the order he bestowed upon the Chaos!  But, this was an affront, an evil, a betrayal of the sacred pact!  And Nemesis was satisfied in the end, an end of which we still feel the reverberations, perturbations, and time-quakes ceaselessly.

Human history is the story of one order, building up such potential, and exploding into chaos.  Unfortunately, this chaos is nothing poetic, nothing joyous, nothing what "we" consider good.  Of course, Chaos, she isn't bad.  It's from Chaos that a new order may be directed, a new potential built, and another cycle completed.

O fools!  It is the fear of Chaos that gives her her strength!  If you were to acknowledge her beauty, admit her strength... only through submission will you find victory!  "What a strange game," "in which the only winning move is not to play."  The father doesn't wish to destroy his son, only garner his respect.  The mother does not wish to hurt her lover, only see him honor the sacred pact!

Does our science agree?  Yes!  What is the "axiom of choice?"  Do you know?  Do you believe or do you know?  It is an obfuscation of the well-ordering principle, a key tool of your sorcerers, whom you've denoted mathematicians and physicists, scientists and statisticians.  Do they believe?  Do they believe that anything in the universe can be described mathematically?  And anything described mathematically can be brought into order?  Do you take so much of your own power and put it into such a tool?  Do you take your faith and give it away so easily?  The one defense you have against the gods?  Do you truly believe that only man can determine reality?

This is no trifle, if you doubt me, go study the sciences for yourself.  Go study the principles of quan tum mechanics, go learn the axiom of choice, seek to understand Cantor and Godel.  Believe no man who tells you you can't learn these powers on your own.  Trust no one to tell you what it means to know.

Are we the apex?  Are we the Alpha?  No.  As Col. Gathers puts it, "the moment God crapped out the third caveman, a conspiracy was hatched against one of them."  It is groups of people that is the most dangerous beast on this planet, and perhaps not even anymore.  In fact, do we even know where we came from?  Or are we just a tool of this planet, attempting to preserve life?  The dinosaurs were certainly the apex of their time, undefeatable as a race.  Except for threats not of this planet!  Life, to ensure its existence, needed more than size, ferociousness, terror.  It needed a way to defend against the cosmos!  It needed to harness the power of the stars themselves!  And, upon certainty that the power has been put firmly into its grasp, it could not let it destroy itself!

And what of the dinosaurs?  What of these beautiful, terrifying creatures!  So strong, that for intelligence to prevail, it required deus ex machina?  Well, from this most certain, invincible order, an incredible potential was created.  Our most prized intellects believe that energy is conserved, so where did it go?  To whence did this frightening, unbelievable energy disperse?  Who on this earth believes they could stand up to this foreign, strange, perilous existence?  Even in our spectacular capability?  The creatives project such a place on this Earth, and don't see humans being able to control such power!!!

Fossil fuels.  This Great, Majestic, Awful order was not forgotten, not lost, was not brought to destruction in vain!  It was Her plan that we should discover this potential, for not to would be Evil.  Now, we've harnessed the potential power of the Ancients!  Shall we now forsake the past?  Shall we now cast our grandparents onto the ice slag?  Shall we abandon with resentment, that which brought us forth?

The beautiful twilight, the deepened wood, the earthly hollow.  My son and I continue through the beautiful, chilled air, my son is enjoying a sweet treat.  My mind is swimming in sorcery.  How can I preserve this existence for him?  I shan't.  I can only teach him.  I can only try to show him the beauty of life.  I can only give him all the knowledge that I have.  I can protect him, for awhile, while he builds his own potential.  Then, when he is ready, I must stand back, terrified, while he unleashes his glorious energy upon the earth.  For now, as we walk toward the blue, white and red-ly illuminated bridge, similar to the French flag, I can only wonder...

It happens, from time to time, that we actually experience reality.  Not consciousness, but reality.  What is the difference?  Well, let me ask you, can you use your hand?  Of course, but do you know how you use your hand?  Can you trace the impulse to move your index finger through your body to the actual movement?  If you can, then you are different than I.  Only through meditation may I come close to this, however I felt reality today.  I felt a connection with Nature, and when tempted to believe I was experiencing God's touch, I chose only to be grateful for the love I have for my son, for the safety and security I can give him in reasonable amounts in this life.  This is because I know the sacred pact: those with power should not have the power to decide when to use it.  This is because I've been shown the light.  In fact, it was given to me, by my son, by my wife.  I know why I move forward, and don't seek power for power's sake.

I should mention, that upon arriving to the river, on our walk back home.  My son safely in his tricycle, enjoying his treat, admiring the promenade, I saw thousands of crows, returning from whence they came.  I wondered, "are those the same crows?  Should I go see if any are still at the playground?  Was this some message?  What has happened?"  But, I then thought: "does it matter?"  I didn't go check, because it doesn't matter.  Maybe they came to give me a message.  Maybe our circadian rhythms just so happened to sync.  Maybe their is a greater intelligence, controlling (or at least affecting) all of us.  Maybe, to see me at the playground from the vantage of 2000 crows, then to see my thoughts, then to see my son, and my eternal, undying love for him and his mother...

Maybe this is what a dream looks like when your name is Gaea.