EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

A Story by ND

This is my journey from a bullied boy , to an attached teen fighting depression and coming out of it with the help of past experiences leading to connecting dot to see the bigger picture of life.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

CHAPTER 1: THE MEMORIES

Now in my life I’ve changed quite a few schools. But this was by far the best phase of my life it was my summer vacations in May, I was happy to go to a new school in 6^th class ,before I went to a school where I was bullied for two years by my classmate named Feroz Khan he used to slap me everyday for no reason ,call me names as I had lost my front two teeth while playing. One day my class teacher saw him slapping me , she was furious .At that point there was a rule that teachers will not hit students,she was fuming with anger.To my surprise she asked me and Feroz to come at the front and asked me to give a tight slap to Feroz and I being a good student gave a very soft slap thinking what the teacher would think .Seeing my soft slap ma’am couldn’t control and gave him thunderous slap , for the first time I saw him crying .Then the next few weeks were final exams and I left that school as I was shifting to Virar.

There 6^th class passed very well made some friends hoping to be life long friends .In 7^th class we became very close group of five, three girls and two boys . That year I started developing feelings for one of the girls, she had a unique personality, little tomboyish and full crazy .One day thinking of how mature I was which I was not after I see kids in 7^th class but anyway I decided to tell her that I really liked her and she would also spend ample of time with me smiling ,laughing and having a great time which made me think that she likes me too. But this could be a misunderstanding too , so to know whether she liked me or not I setup a game , any guesses ,its TRUTH & DARE .Here my guy friend was on it with me ,I told him to ask who was her crush. The time finally came ,the plastic bottle pointed towards her and he asked that question ,my nerves were about to burst .She started laughing after hearing the question ,then her laugh turned into a blush and the finger pointed towards me ,at that moment I wanted to dance like anything but instead I looked her in the eye and gave a smile as if I always knew. The next day I told her that I like her too . I still think that year ended pretty quickly ,I was the happiest person I can ever be. Next year our school went to a picnic in a resort everyone was playing in swimming pool ,with so much crowd we got pretty close .In the that moment everything went slow, I couldn’t see anyone but her ,I leaned forward and went for a kiss.To my relief no one saw that, otherwise it would have created a scene .We both were very happy having each others company, but twist to my story came when teachers shuffled the classes and we were in different divisions .In the couple of months we spoke less and started growing apart.

CHAPTER 2 : NEW PHASE

At the final week of my 8^th standard , my father tells me that we are going to shift in Chandigarh, where me paternal side of my family live . Being an adventurous person I thought it as an adventure and happily agreed which I soon regretted it later . That week I thought of how I would tell my friends that I’m leaving them and I decided not to tell anyone .On the last day everyone was filling their slam book and so was she ,I asked for her land line no. in a hope that I’ll be in contact with her.I wrote it in my secret diary which had a lock. I left the same way Rancho had left in 3 idiots.

I shifted to Chandigarh thinking it as a new beginning , I made a facebook account but could not find any of my previous school friends.I was missing them so much that I thought its better that I don’t find them on FB .

In Chandigarh , I clearly saw that cultural gap I had ,touching feet felt so awkward for me ,if the same I did in Mumbai people would have laughed at me, saying namaste everytime you meet someone was something I wasn’t able to adapt to,But I was confident in my own skin , I accepted the fact that I am who I am and there’s no shame in it .My family started searching for schools in Chandigarh , after few interviews I took admission in convent school run by a sardaar .I was the new boy in the class , most of the people new each other .Here I made a promise to myself that here I will not let myself be bullied by anyone .I was scared but there wsa something in me which wanted to prove them for once , I stared participating I everything .For instance I narrated a play ,I was very scared but still I said yes to the part and went with the flow.

Those two years 9^th and 10^th class were very boring years of my life . With girls here getting impressed by show off, bullet and beard which I had none .In 10^th I started liking a girl who was my partner in monitoring the class, she looked like a punjaban snow white,she was a utter bad a*s girl I ever knew ,she had amazing roasting skills . I was lucky enough that I never got roasted by her .I would walk her to the bus,talked to her until her bus left,everyday gave her a 5 Rs. dairymilk chocolate ,I don’t know from where this idea came and she would take it too.This continued for some time and then I realised that this thing was one sided or she was way out of my league.

The people here were quiet studious , focused and boring being from the city which never sleeps to the city who sleeps at 8:30 pm ,it was a drastic change in my life. Chandigarh which once appeared to be the beautiful city now had turned into a city for retired people.This school was stricter than the previous one ,my spiky hair was made into decent hair here.However I passed 10^th with a good cgpa of 9.4 for which I was quiet happy for sometime when nothing felt right.

CHAPTER 3 : DELUSION

Now came the part were I have to decide what my future will be , I knew I’am not good with business or accounting so I dropped the idea of commerce ,the idea of taking arts was never there as there is a notion that arts is generally taken by duffers and I didn’t wanted to be considered to be one ,I also knew I’m scared to see someone elses blood ,so the idea of medical also dropped and the only option left was to do Non medical to pursue engineering like every other student in Punjab.

I changed my school for 11^th and 12 th as I had to go to the school aswell as the tution classes.

At home subtle preaching about the 11^th and 12^th board exams started .Like most of the student you must also heard this line from your parents that, “just work hard in boards then everything will be fun and games it will shape your future,your life will be good”.Listening to such motivation you give everything in your power to do well and make your parents proud. During this time I made few friends which remained with me for the next 7 years of my life and still are.

Exams this word brought fear to our minds , I went to class at 8:00 am return to home at 1 went to tuitions at 3 returned home at 8:30pm. This monotonous schedule continued for a while .

While I was searching something I got a diary with a lock and all the past memories came back to me, I broke the lock and frantically started searching for her number, I was scared to call her thinking about what would be her reaction for not keeping any contact with her for the past 4 years. One morning I called her ,to my surprise her picked up and she asked who am I ,I told her my name I told I was her friend then she says that her daughter is asleep and asks what work do I have with her and there was a mild silence I was thinking of what to say and I said books aunty books .I said I wanted the books I gave her and hung up the phone . My heart was pounding with happiness that her no. wasn’t changed .I kept that diary in a secret place with an intension to call her again sometime .

Now it was my 12^th class was continuously thinking about her ,I was distracted, the invisible pressure to score good marks was on and in that pressure I decided to burn my diary leaving no contact of her ,as I wasn’t seeing myself go to Mumbai back any time soon. Soon I got my mojo back and was concentrating on my studies.One day a friend request came it was of Aarti a friend from the 8^th class I was happy to see her after so long , I stated searching her friendlist just to find my school love in that , I found bunch of other school friends but not her. Few days later a familiar name showed in people you may know ,it was her.I send her friend request which she accepted.

We stated off again as strangers ,our conversations were very short .I Knew something was up with her, I asked her whats the matter.Her reply just broke my heart ,she said all this time she missed me and she hated me for not keeping in contact,then I said her that I had called her at home but she was asleep ..she didn’t believed a single word I said.

Again I wasn’t able to concentrate on my studies thinking about her ,so I decided something which I would never do it again in my life . I knew I loved her but I also knew that I can never have her so, I sent mean messages to her like how much I hate her just so that nothing ever could happen between us again and to close this chapter once for all.I cried that whole night,slept closer to the room of my parents.Now shes just a friend in my friendlist.

Now ,I had 3 months left for the exam which would eventually make my future.I gave everything and scored 92% in CBSE class 12.Everyone was happy ,seeing them I was happy too.

CHAPTER 4 : THE GREAT DEPRESSION

Now , the most important decision was which branch of engineering to go into. I went with the most safer choice the so called evergreen branch i.e Mechanical Engineering.I took admission in an elite college in Punjab .I was soon going to the college , I had only seen college which was shown in movies ,which is nothing less but fun. Soon I got the real picture ,everyone in the college were in a race and not knowing where the finish line is .I was a dayscholar which means I had to travel to the college for class and hen back home ,most of the students were hostellers which made their college life easier. During my first year I tried to study as hard as I studied in 12^th but there was not much spark left ,my parents dialogue that just clear 12^th with good marks and then you can enjoy your life was echoing in my ears.I regretted that moment where I sacrificed enough for mere marks .Now my perception towards marks and its concept started changing,the value or fear fear or marks and exams were reaching zero.I had a closed friend circle in college, who were very boring people and never went anywhere,made my life at college boring too,I participated in extracurricular which kept me busy .But the high which good marks once used too give me was lost .

By the time I completed my 2^nd year I don’t know how my CGPA was 6.5 and had not failed in any subject.Then came 3^rd year of engineering , i.e the worst year of my life. This time I was fed up of studying ,although I wanted to do engineering but I did not understand I word they said and the faculty only cared if the people in the front row understood or not . I eventually gave up on studying ,I studied only the day before final exams.I was so not in the right mind that I missed the exam and I reached college after the exam was over just to know that I read the timings wrong ,rather that talking to the faculty that I unintentionally missed my exam I decided to give it a pass . Few days later ma’am asks me whether you want to give the exam or not and now I said a firm no. I never gave that exam as I knew I was getting passing mark with the internal evaluation.I was not ready to bear the exam stress again and the quote by Einstein”A single piece of paper cannot decide my future”,certainly Einstein didn’t studied in Indian Education System.

3^rd year’s first semester results were out. I had failed in two subjects out of five with scoring D grade in other three subject.I knew this was coming but I was in a state of shock I was not ready to accept this as my fate .I questioned myself that” how can I fail?, I’m a class 12^th topper”,but times were changed .After the results got out I never went to college again .I’m not that type of person who begs for marks and I have never did and I never will.I was also afraid to face my classmates,I also didn’t told my parents that I’ve failed as they would be in shock too and I didn’t wanted to disappoint them. I wanted to run out of this cage ,the next semester was of training in a company.The only way I saw was to get internship in a different city .So, I applied in the most prestigious companies for internship programme of six months and I got accepted at an MNC at MUMBAI.

Now,I had realised the power of destiny . All my sadness went away , life came to a full circle now. I told my parents about the internship but kept the failure a secret hoping they would never come to know . I lived in Mumbai with my relatives,worked really hard at my intern ,with a hope to get a job at that company itself .Everyday at Mumbai I felt alive,I lived and travelled as if there was no tomorrow. Met some old school friends from 8^th class but not her . I regretted for the messages I had sent her , I apologised to her for that .I knew once the glass is broken ,no matter how much you try to fix it there will always be cracks. I knew I was not going to meet her but a weight from my heart lifted.Soon my days at Mumbai were coming to an end , and the fear of going back to the cage was crawling back to me .I asked my mentor at the company as I was performing well that are there any chances that they hire trainees.To my fear, the company had no policy to hire trainees. The last few days I stayed at home,I didn’t wanted to leave Mumbai and be trapped in College again but I had to . But while I was in Mumbai my came to know about me failing subjects ,they consoled me to not to worry but I could feel the disappointment in their voice and asked me to not hide anything from them ever again.

My journey at Mumbai was over ,I was heading back to Chandigarh with fear of how I ‘ll face my parents,classmates,proffessors and myself. I had no option I had to face my parents,they said they had talked to the faculty and I would have to repeat the subjects again .Confronting with my parents gave me some relief .But I was still going through a phase I barely came out of my room,talking seemed an effort ,doing anything was a task .For a month a barely moved out of my house ,I could sense that my parents were worried for me too.Living a life for a short span of 6 months in Mumbai and then to be caged back in college in a most boring place like Chandigarh was taking a toll on me.I evn felt suicidal,but I knew suicide is not an option. As the day to join college came near my reluctance and fear went way high ,my classmates kept calling me but I didn’t answered any .The vibration of the phone would make my heart beat so hard that I started feeling pain in my chest ,I thought it could be a heart attack so I told my parents they accompanied me to the doctor where he said it may due to lifting weight ,which I knew was not the case.But anyway I went with it and took the medicine. Now, college had started but I was not attending it ,told lies to my parents that college hadn’t started yet. I had missed my presentation .Soon professors called my parents and told that he has missed the presentation and will be expelled from the college if he didn’t attended classes. My every fear was coming after me ,my mother asked WHY? , for which I had no answer too .

I broke down crying in front of her, trying to explain what was going on with me .I don’t know whether she understood me or not but I felt little relieved. Next day we went to meet the faculty and my convinced them seeing my past record to give me a second chance .I was very relieved ,the minute I walked out the office I felt like a different person. Something in me was changed .I started seeing life with a new perspective and now no problem seemed big.Still I didn’t cared about marks but I managed to clear all my exams .Due to my backlogs I was not able to sit in any companies .But strangely now I was happy with the worst experience I had which gave me a perspective to life.

Last semester of the Engineering was here many companies were to come at this semester ,many toppers were also waiting to be placed .This semester as I had cleared all my backlogs I was allowed to sit for the placements. In my first company for which I sat,they asked questions which was from the subject in which I had failed but as I had to repeat in again in the previous semester I knew the answers.I had nailed my first interview,I got the offer to a semi government company and toppers of my class are still waiting to be placed (2018).

My journey showed me that everything in life happens for a reason.