Papyrus Cow

I drew a cow and it menaced me. Until it became Cow. A mistake turned into friendship. Bliss...

“Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-no-“

“Flaur-flaur- flaur- flaur- flaur- flaur- flau-“

“Would you cut that out?” I cried, lashing out at the Idiots across from me.

They looked up, jaws stopped in mid-word. I bowed my head slightly, mostly in relief, but in gratitude also. I picked up my papyrus-pen, laid carefully across my drawing, right above the drawing of the cow, parallel to the edge.

                The cow started at me intently, as if scolding me for my behavior towards those Idiots-who-can’t-help-themselves. I stared back. It returned the gesture with knowing. I added venom to the stare. It added a smirk.

                We kept on like this for many moments and finally I couldn’t take it anymore.  “WHAT? Stupid cow! You’ve been accusing me and looking at me and following me ever since I drew you!” I glared. “AND I’VE DONE NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING!”

                The cow’s ear twitched, as if in amusement.

                “GAAAAH!” I took the cow, squashed it in between my itty-skinny fingers, and took it to the Lady-At-The-Desk.

 3:(:)

                “Lady-At-The-Desk, how may I help you?”

I threw the globular mass of papyrus onto her desk. “GET FREAKING RID OF THIS!!!”

The yellow-blonde lady looked at it reforming into the cow. Pushing up her spectacles, she looked at me intently…almost like the cow had. I willed myself to stay calm…one more slip and –BAM!  I’d be a goner.

 I started to count to ‘leventy-six.

1…2…3…4…fi-

“Dear, this is on papyrus.”

-ive…6…sev-

“And you know the rules for the papyrus.”

-en…8…9…10…elev-

“It can’t be destroyed without harm.”

-en…12…13…four-

“Why on Earth would you practice drawing on papyrus?”

-teen…15…si-

GAH! NO! I wouldn’t make it…this method was USELESS. There had to be some way I could control the induced rage. SOMEWAY?

I closed my eyes, hoping it would go away. I bit my tongue so the anger could go away. My hands balled up into fists and my nails cut my palm, so that the frustration would go away. Eyes closed. Tongue bit. Fists balled.

The spell passed and I breathed out, ending all the tension. Then I opened my eyes. Lady-At-The-Desk was gone, and so was the cow.

NO! Where was it? THAT DAMNED COW‽ I may have hated the cow, but it was still on papyrus!

OH COW! OH COW- COW- COW- COW- COW!

                The words blubbered from my mouth. “COW- COW- COW- COW- COW- COW- COW- COW- CO-”

 3:(:)

“Moo!”

Surprisingly, I stopped.

IT WAS THE MOTHER FREAKING COW!

 3:(:)

“But where did Lady-At-The-Desk go?”

The cow smirked. “Moo! Moo.”

“You did what?” My face contorted in disgust.

My Cow, the one who called me out, broke Lady-At-The-Desk because she kept vexing me?

I had felt no greater joy before this moment.

 3:(:)

I picked cow up, and put it onto my shoulder. I guess Cow really was an extension of my skin, being of papyrus, another ego.

“I’m sorry I hated you, Cow, really sorry.”

“Moo!”

 3:(:)

The Idiots were still stopped mid-word.

 

Author's Note

Uhm, yeah, this is an allegory. Very literal and very deep. Heh.
[and if you can't get it, message me, or you might lose sleep over it.]

Reviews

[Tony Woods]

You know, I'm usually pretty good at catching hideen meanings, symbols, and all that hooplah, but honestly I can't really make heads or tails of this.

Even though I have no idea what it is about, I really liked it. I especially enjoyed counting to "leventy six", I thought that was a riot! I also like how no one was important enough to have a real name, it was just a hyphenated desciption, maybe if I knew more about papyrus I would understand the rest of it, but I'm no egyptologist.

I like this the same way I liked Ulysses, half of the time I didn't know what the hell was going on but for some reason I came out ignorantly blissful. Anyway let me know what this is all about haha, I think I'm going to see if you have any other Sphinx-esque riddles I can crack (what walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?) haha

That was...a little unusual but I liked it anyway. I don't know what the 3:(:) was all about, though. Still, I liked how you gave the people descriptions of what they are rather than names. This was cool.

PS: Thanks for the review. I'll look into that awkward sentence.

[Emily B]

I have the same problem. Only my drawing skills are so terrible, my creations would probably run rough-shod over humanity to ease their own pain and frustration. I try not to sing in public either. My part to bringing peace and harmony to the entire world.

I liked your allegory. I may dream of cows tonight.