Silver Strand

This is a work in progress

               She eased open the door of the motel room, careful as she stepped inside in case he was sleeping. The room was dark as she passed the threshold, but just enough light from the parking lot filtered through the threadbare curtains. She was startled to find him sitting in the chair by the window less than two feet away from the door. His back was to her and she could tell by his posture, and by the air in the room that he was contemplating something, maybe brooding was a better description. He was good at that. They were alike in that way. Taking too much in, deep within themselves, holding on to it all too tightly. She could see what he was thinking about if she wanted to, but she restrained herself, feeling already like an intruder.

                Standing in the dark, she realized she was holding her breath, holding it there until she made her choice. Leave or go to him. She knew she made her choice long before she walked into this motel room. Long before they started on this journey. And even longer than before they showed up at her door, which wasn’t actually that long ago, but felt it like a lifetime at this point.

                She approached him, reaching for him, like she’d been willing him to reach for her before. This need she felt often frightened her, the depth of her feeling for him was something she didn’t want. She always knew their destinies were bound together, but she never imagined what that would feel like.

                Her right hand rest on his shoulder feeling the tension and turmoil brewing with in him. Her energy ached to comfort his, to take away all of his uncertainties and fears. She was startled when he reached up with his left hand, placing it on top of hers. She thought for a second that he was going to brush her hand away, but he didn’t. He let his hand rest there, holding hers for an extended moment. He then lifted it, encouraging her without a word to come around to face him. She did as he demanded, his movements were without a question.

                Facing him, she looked down seeing that his stubble was starting turn into a beard and she saw the tiredness in his eyes. Their eyes finally met and she almost let out a sob realizing the severity of everything he felt. Every painful moment, every unanswered question, every uncertainty, every death, everything he carried within him was there raw, bared for her to see. In his eyes he gave her permission to look within him and see it all. They held that moment for what felt like beyond time as she took it all in.

                Eventually he broke the intense stare gripping her hips. He pulled her in close, burying his face just below her bosom. She heard and felt him let out a ragged sigh. She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and rested her head on top of his. Holding him like this gave her relief she didn’t realize she had been searching for. For so long she felt that because of what she was that no one would ever love or need her, that no one would ever bare themselves to her in this way. He was giving her everything, and she knew she could bare the weight for them both.

                Neva’s eyes shot open as she sucked in a breath. She stared at the flower print wallpaper plastered to her trailer ceiling. It took her a moment to realize her cheeks were wet with tears. She’d been crying in her sleep. She ran her hand over her face wiping them away. She sat up, propping herself up on her left hand. She tried to make sense of that dream, but then she realized it was too vivid, felt too real to be a dream. It was vision, a glimpse into the future, not immediate, but not too far off.  

                “Damn”, she whispered to herself as she flung her head back on to her pillow. She kind of felt like having one of those toddler tantrums, where all of her limbs would flail about. Instead she figured she better get her a*s out of bed, and get moving. Destiny was finally calling. It looked like she was going to have guests today.