The Window

Friday, January 9, 2015

12:14 a.m.

“Sorry this window tends to stick,” he said glancing at me from over his shoulder shooting me a ‘what-can-you-do’ half smile. I smiled back, the corners of my mouth feeling stiff and fake, but merely nodded only before realizing he had already turned his attention back to the window. I watched as he gripped the bottom that had until this moment remained stubbornly about three inches from the sill. Heaving his weight against it once more, his forearms flexing as the glass bumped against its frame bit by bit. The moonlight sliding over my figure behind him basking the room in fresh light. He let out a slow whistle before turning to me and grinning. 

“I swear I wouldn’t have suggested bringing you all the way up here if I had known opening a damn window would take so long,” he laughed to himself. It’s sound filling in the empty silence that seemed to surround us within the hollow room. “Come here, you have to see this.”

He held his hand out for me to take. From across the room the distance seemed farther then it was and as it fell outstretched toward me it landed in that space of moonlight illuminating white. I must have looked as nervous as I felt because I could see his confidence falter as I took a step backward. 

“I swear it will be worth it, just trust me.” he pleaded. His fingers wiggling in response to this, urging me to take his hand. Even after all this time my eyes instantly found those two rings on his hand now glowing silver intermixed within that moonlight. One of which I knew had his moms birthday inscribed beneath and the other plain with jagged ridges running along its side. I stepped toward him, letting him place his fingers in mine and the cold of his rings almost startled me until he placed his other hand on my waist and guided me to the open window. 

“Now this window comes with the best view of the city. And this is coming from a guy who got a private tour atop the Golden Gate last summer,” he said as we both made our way to the windows ledge. “I didn’t grab the room for the space obviously, but the view makes it all worth it.”

As we approached the frame I was instantly aware of its mass, its space seeming to swallow us whole the closer we got until it seemed that we weren’t in a room at all. The bedroom falling away entirely as my eyes widened at the view before me. Lights danced before my eyes from every angle, the brightest ones coming nearer making me squint while the distant ones seemed to twinkle against the night sky mimicking the stars along side them. A steady contradiction. Being so close to the window I was instantly aware of the cold and shivered beneath my jacket as the wind picked up, rustling bits of my hair and tickling my face. But, what struck me as odd was the silence.Though this was San Francisco looking down upon it’s city streets I wasn’t aware of the familiar sounds that made the city home. There were no sirens wailing, car breaks squealing around corners or even the abruptness of laughter between friends as they stumbled their way home from the bars downtown. As if the mere height of this three story bedroom separated our world from the one below. I was suddenly very aware of the fact that Elliot was standing behind me awaiting my much anticipated verdict.

“You were right,” I said turning towards him and meeting his eyes for what seemed like the first time since this whole night began. “This is pretty extraordinary.”

He smiled, it lighting up his whole face and he nuzzled his nose just between my ear and neck in response. A spot he knew made me crazy. You could tell he was pleased. I laughed and pushed him gently, but he resisted just for a second before he obliged with a kiss to my forehead. I closed my eyes. 

“Sit with me,” he whined as he began to adjust himself on the windows ledge below me. I must have looked alarmed for he laughed before saying, “Ronan, it’s the only way to take it all in!” At this he raised both his arms above him as if he were a game show host announcing their next prize. 

I observed his position, his feet dangling over the edge, his palms lying flat on the sill beside him. Those rings effortlessly finding moonlight no matter which way they faced. Hanging out with Elliot tonight was like hanging out with him when we first met.  All the little bits and pieces I once knew continually came flooding back slowly the more I experienced him that night.  Observing his excitement as he encouraged me to sit on the sill beside him I was suddenly nostalgic for the passionate approach he took to the little things. He never had to strain when it came to reaching towards the things he wanted. He dove in a worried about taking a breath later. So before I could contemplate just how high above we were from the street below I found myself steadying my hand upon Elliot’s shoulder as I lifted my first leg over the edge. It falling endlessly in all that empty space. I took a breath and attempted to ignore Elliot’s broad grin from beside me as I hitched my other leg over steadily, feeling instantly the unbalance of everything all at once.

It was funny, though I could feel myself sitting on the ledge looking down at the street below, my sneakers seeming to extend farther then I could reach, for a second it almost felt like flying. That moment of teetering before you find your rhythm. This vulnerability made me panic, it rising up like a bubble in my chest and I ran my hand along the roughness of the wood beside me searching, until I found it. Elliot’s hand warm beneath mine and I gripped his hard depending on that solidness as that white light seemed to encompass us. Bright and sudden. If he was surprised by my reaction he didn’t show it, instead his hand gave mine a reassuring squeeze and when I turned to him he flashed me that casual grin of his as if nothing out of the ordinary had taken place. 

“I told you this was the only way to experience it,” he said as his gaze turned toward the skyline once more. “One of these mornings you will have to come and see the sunrise. I still haven’t been able to determine which view is my favorite.”

He said this casually, no importance to his tone, but I knew this statement held more weight then he let on. And just like that teetering on the ledge, my thoughts swirled. Wavering as I struggled for the confidence I would need to take that leap, to address how I really felt with all these months expanding between us.  But before I could speak Elliot made the choice for me. Sparing me from a response as he began to adjust his position once more, his grip never leaving mine as his spine now met vertically against the frame of the window, his face turned toward me expectedly. I followed him shortly not as gracefully, but easier then my first go. Resting my back against the frame and feeling considerably more secure as my left foot touched solid ground and the other remained suspended outside below us. My facial expression must have given me away for he laughed at my sense of peace and I could feel him bump his knee against mine gently. I playfully bumped his back, before he reached toward me, grabbing the side of my face as he kissed me in the center of that frame. The moonlight providing us with a spotlight brighter then any light below.

After what felt like seconds we pulled away, I before him and I couldn’t help but enjoy watching his dazed expression as his head rested against the frame behind once more. And instead of taking this moment to detail everything I was feeling, how much I have missed him and how lost i’v felt without him by my side. We looked at one another and laughed. Laughed over the awkwardness of our whole night and how silly we must have looked to the actual world below. How exposed we really were despite that feeling of isolation that window and its view provided. 

And as that white light got dimmer and the sun touched the sky line showering us with hues of pinks and oranges my thoughts wondered to that world below. Could anyone know just by looking at us that this was a reunion long over due? That window looking so small from below with us along its sides, our legs swinging in tandem from above. But, no matter what position we were observed one thing was certain. Only we knew that our hands found one another in the center of that window. Resting along that wooden seal as Elliot spun those rings around his fingers unaware of them catching the light again and again.

-n.b.

Author's Note

So lately in order to practice writing my new favorite thing to do is find interesting photos online and write a story describing the image. It's neat to envision anything I want just from one moment. I hope you guys enjoy.

ps. Grammatically this has the potential to be a disaster. So please ignore for the time being.

Reviews

[The Ink Chapters]

Really great description and detail. Your wording was great as well as good job in describing the surroundings. However I felt that more could be done in terms of story and character development. Every great read has some conflict whether it be internal/external, as well as building the characters makes the readers become more attached to the story and the way it unfolds. It makes us care more. Excellent writing overall though!!

[Saddam]

This very well penned but I think it you must be got little more attention. But it is very good and nice piece.

[nattibabe]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!