Michael's Kaleidoscope

Dreaming with paper planes and ribbons of his thoughts.

You are here, 

In the soul parking space that had been strictly mine, 

My junk filled psyche's room, and the closets inside 

I'd happily cleared out for you to occupy, 

They're thrown open wide, 

Flourished by your furnishing, 

And they're completely unsatisfied 

After their perusal of the parlor portrait you hung up, 

that book 'My Antonia' 

Restless, I explore new colors in the changing light, 

And let the time evolving rays paint my mind 

Colors of 'Michael's kaleidoscope', 

Shades and symbols of your point of view; 

Misty jungle mornings to crowded, 

gritty metropolis afternoons, 

Flicker in your eye, 

twin hooks of your smile come and gone too soon 

You are here, 

On the path by the water where I walk,

I imagine you safe in the company of elements I trust, 

Remember words you've spoken, 

things you've done, 

Moments together I've kept,

I'm fishing them; rainbow ether talismans, 

out of my head, 

Submitting these to the green sunlit day that becomes another concept of yours,

I partake in nature's alchemy of us, 

And cannot return back to word what you mean to me just because. 

However I can play 

Twister with myself;

Lie in spots where you lay like the chalk man in murder scene positions, 

Choose things you like, 

stupendously smug that I pay attention, 

Relish the aftertaste of chemistry's different recipes and little forget-me-nots, 

Dream with inner landscape skies filled with paper planes and ribbons of your thoughts...

Author's Note

I felt I should add a last word or last line to the end of each of the long stanzas - like the phrase 'It never ends' in repetition or something more clever; identical sashes to hold the groups of words together in place. Now I've opted to leave the long lines flying free - like ribbons of his thoughts :-).
I don't mind you're opinion though; to tie, or not to tie, and any other suggestion/s?

Most importantly though, thanks for reading, I appreciate it!

Hey Robert, thanks for responding to my 'Ken's Kaleidoscope' reading request. Thank you everyone! I appreciate your time!
So the word 'soul' is intentional, as is the past tense in 'I'd happily cleared out' to signify the present occupation of my subject matter :-). You, however, left out an 'o' in point, Rob! My eye is keen. And heck, I'm about to dissect some more of your stuff on your page now... [lol].

Atlanta - thank you so much for the great review - thank you for being so GOOD at it too!
I choose your line over mine - it's perfect i.e.
'Restless, I explore new colors in the changing light.'
Your two cents are gold. Gracias.

Reviews

[Dani California]

"Relish the aftertaste of chemistry's different recipes and little forget-me-nots,
Dream with inner landscape skies filled with paper planes and ribbons of your thoughts... "


This is such a highly creative piece! What a joy to read!
I too, had to read through it a few times to absorb it and
I may need to return again.



"Shades and symbols of your point of view;
Misty jungle mornings to crowded, gritty metropolis afternoons,
Flicker in your eye, twin hooks of your smile come and gone too soon.."


I'm so intrigued by your word usage...
it's really quite marvelous and...well....brilliant!

I'll be returning to this ..

[Bhavya Kaushik]

I actually read this poem about 3-4 times and still I'm lacking in words....
This is so so thoughtful!
The idea is so original..and I simply loved the usage of language , the choice of words at few places! Brilliant use of language !
"Dream with inner landscape skies filled with paper planes and ribbons of your thoughts... "
The ending is very thoughtful and deep and left a nice impression on reader's mind!
Very passionate! Great piece of writing :)

[Catrinka]

I enjoyed this read. I don't think it needs a last word or phrase, it might be a bit too cluttered if you added more. You have an original, refreshing use of language - kudos!

[Tim McGovern]

I think the first 4 lines could be stronger...otherwise I really like this.

"I imagine you safe in the company of elements I trust,
Remember words you've spoken, things you've done,
Moments together I've kept,
I'm fishing them; rainbow ether talismans, out of my head,
Submitting these to the green sunlit day that becomes another concept of yours,
I partake in nature's alchemy of us, '

That is a great verse " rainbow ether talismans" is one of the coolest things I've read in a long time.
and this whole verse captures perfectly how you alter your own reality, nature, sometimes even beliefs, to make space for someone to come in, in hopes of finding love.

A really beautiful, sad, but uniting piece of writing.

Excellent job