Into Indigo: A Journey Within

A Journey Within.

I lie back to meditate on the things I’ve read. I listen to the song ‘Future Lovers’ by Madonna.
I sing ‘In the evidence of its brilliance ’ along with the lyrics.
I close my eyes. I begin to travel.

I dive into an expanse of an endless dark blue ocean. I am in a funnel, driven by a glorious, innate torrent, my arms stretched straight before me, hands joined, as I dive deeper and deeper, and the limbs of my body are weightless and graceful as they move on the impulse on single thought alone.
‘Come with me’. Words of the song.

The tunnel widens into indigo universe. I relax, letting my arms fall to my sides as I swim and fly forward, spiraling downwards on the invisible current.
I am not alone now. I see others like me. Our bodies are glowing and so graceful we’re worm-like as we dart forward. I think ‘Like sperm.’
We swim purposefully forward; downwards, vertically, there is no dimension here.

I see a glowing orb below me, like the view of a planet from a spacecraft, and I am heading straight for it as I continue to flow onward …
‘Come with me’.
The circle of light is like a doorway and the other beings disappear as I pass through it as through a transparent film yet into blue universe beyond, filling with ecstasy as I gather speed.
I am winding and coiling as I fly forward, I am undulating and shapeless, gathering momentum.
There are visible currents now, a white ribbon of light spirals downward like a slide and I follow, sliding onward upon it without thought. I lose myself in these motions for a while.

I come to an empty space. I revolve and spin in one spot, faster and faster.

I burst into rays of light!

I am … sparkling " a spinning golden core of energy, a dazzling electric star vibrant with flashing, pulsing energy.
I feel stretched to the edges of bliss, and yet my emotions stretch me further still.

The pictures of my mentors come because I suddenly think of them.
Their faces fly around me, satellites of my orbit, and they are transmitting rays of bright white light to me at the pulsing centre.

I am swelling with energy, I feel as if I’m expanding the universe around me - a wonderful pliable substance pressing on me. I am producing brilliant red combustions now, sending out these molecules in every direction as I spin on my axis.

And just when I think it’s too much I transform into something else. I am a beautiful, multi-faceted being/object that seems to be forming from colorful sparkling diamond molecules! The concept suddenly becomes as I become, as I know.
It is so unexpected I feel tears in my eyes. I am overwhelmed by my beauty! I think ‘God, I am so beautiful!’ I am magnificent and I radiate wonderfully colored light from thousands of reflections from my surface.
At every high point I think ‘It’s too much, I need to go back!’ and then I hear … ‘Come with me’ and I follow.

I am expanding in the universe and expanding the universe.
And then I tremble and I explode again; sending out playful, gamboling particles to its heights and depths and all its dimensions. I do not lose myself; instead I am more ‘open’ than I ever conceived I could be. I have been ‘opened up’.

And the particles have the same essence of what I was before I disintegrated. And I focus on one of the particles and there lies the whole sparkling object I conceive myself to be as before.
I, the multi-faceted, sparkling being, hang in the universe radiating my light to the distant stars that shine with brighter radiance around me now, appearing out of the empty skies that were before. My mentors faces have drifted beyond me, their lights infused in my essence.
I marvel at my existence. I do not think I can handle more, but then the word urges … ‘Come with me.’

I lose my suspension and begin to move onward.

I am returning to where I lay; returning to where I came from in this new magnificent realization of form.

I had contracted into an inner space and I am expanding as I rise from beyond into the mind in my lying body.

I am expanding beyond my mind, and the sparkling form transforms my body into another replica of its essence and beauty.

I lie in ecstasy knowing and feeling how beautiful and wonderful I am and thinking surely it’s too much now! I think ‘this is what I truly am’ and I am overwhelmed. I can see how radiant and magical my body is, down to every ‘cut-crystal' studded cell and atom.
‘Offspring of the Universe’ I meditate upon as I explore this image of myself.

The lights are traveling around my physical systems, flowing in and out of every part, riding my bloodstreams and the vessels that give me shape. All I feel and know is the light. It is wonderful to see all this and realize all this and I think ‘This is surely enough’.

My essence rises up in a torrent and pushes against the pliable film of ‘reality’ pressing down on me and it immediately gives way. ‘Reality’ shimmers, transforming and expanding as my sparkling essence rises within it.

I am so fast, I swell and expand over my bedroom and my house, I watch them grow smaller and smaller as I zoom up above them and over the city. I am looking down at the continent through the clouds when I glance downwards and I am shooting upwards still, spreading a rapidly expanding sparkling blanket of radiation as I rise.

I am in star-filled universe, I am the sparkling object suspended in beautiful space as I follow the paths of my particles over the lands and seas beneath me; seeing the pictures, seeing myself flowing across brown sand to meet foamy waves and over city buildings simultaneously. It is all so beautiful. I am within and without. Multiplying, expanding, becoming.


I think ‘I have to write this now or I’ll forget.’
I become conscious of the song playing in my ears. I pay attention to the words, still focused on my sparkling body and essence. I decide I will not forget. I open my eyes.

I’ve finished writing it all down now. Every time I close my eyes I see the visual concept of my essence as I think of it and even more visions beckon at me.
It seems I will never forget.

Reviews

[Atlanta Carter]

This is difficult to review, Natasha. It's a meditation and hence needs to be slightly stream of consciousness, like a dream. The imagery is just clear enough for me to create my own images to complete the picture.

Structurally, I think I've said this to you before, but making every sentence its own paragraph is rather off-putting. The fact that you divide further, by adding blank lines puzzles me a little. That's where I see the paragraphs divide. Why do you add a line ending every time there is a period? I don't see its purpose.

Ignoring that, I really only have one other comment. I think you leave the real world too easily, and then come back to it as you try to show that are going really far away. You seem really far away from the off, and only the Madonna lyric maintains the connection. Then comes:

I am so fast, I swell and expand over my bedroom and my house, I watch them grow smaller and smaller as I zoom up above them and over the city. I am looking down at the continent through the clouds when I glance downwards and I am shooting upwards still, spreading a rapidly expanding sparkling blanket of radiation as I rise.

Suddenly, you are relating your vision to the real world, but you are moving away from it. I'd rather see the connection at the beginning, as you leave it. Later, you can see it as you are returning. Instead, I see Earth becoming smaller and smaller in my mind's eye, as well as kaleidoscopic. Then, BUMP, we're back. I'd like to see you leave gently and then return more gradually. (That makes "remembering" easier, too.)

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, since a story I'm writing has a series of dreams. Does the character drift away and come back with a thump, or is he immediately away and then drifts back? Here, you are "controlling" your escape from reality, so it should be more gradual, and since you essentially remain conscious, I see the return more gradual, too. In formal meditation, you try to keep a frame of reference - you leave your body, and then you return to it.

In any case, I enjoyed it. A slightly more logical structure would have made it more vivid to me.

[Ice QueenJen]

I found this to be an extraordinary writing, like you were experiencing a rebirth of your own essence. You took us on a voyage as you got to see things unfold before your eyes. Whether it be meditation or a dream it was fantastic by the way you visualized everything. As far as the line breaks, I thought it was a good way for people to stop and think about what you just spoke. I plan to keep this in my library to read again.

great job,Natasha!