Bliss - A Fairytale

This is actually one of my shorter stories, and just kind of came to me on a camping trip. I like it and think it would be great as part of a novel for someone's backstory.

In an age when kings still rules, and the dark still held untold mysteries, there lived a king in the land towards the east. He was said to be the richest king in the land, his vaults filled with gold and silver and jewels. He was also said to be the most fair of kings, because while he had almost too many concubines to count, he treated each the same, holding them in only slightly less esteem than his queen.

One day an old woman came to him with the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on in tow. She was clothed very simply, and kept her eyes on the floor as the old woman ordered her about. He decided immediately that this beauty must be part of his harem, and told one of his advisors that she should be brought forth to him at the palace.

That evening, though he'd expected an audience with the beauty, he found himself having an audience with the old woman.

"I understand it is your wish that my girl be a part of your harem, your majesty," the old woman said to him.

"That is so," he answered.

Thought I would not deign to know what is best for my king, I would advise against it, your highness," the old woman rasped.

"What do you wish for the girl," the king asked impatiently.

"It is not what I would wish, sir. It is what might be best for you and your household."

The king did not understand what the old woman was trying to say, and so waved a hand to dismiss her.

"My king, I only wish to say this. Take Bliss if you please, but remember that she is unlike your other concubines. She must have her own space, and when you come to her you must bring her an offering of treasure. If you do not, your house will surely fall to ruin."

The king hastily agreed to the old woman's terms and quickly had the new concubine esconced in her own room in the palace. His other concubines grumbled about this new acquisition, and the queen felt affronted that this new addition should have herr own room, but no one said anything. The king took heed to bring this new concubine a piece of jewelry when he visited her. He found her intoxicating, not only physically but mentally as well. He found her a learned and beautiful companion and found himself visiting her more and more often, until he was visiting his vault nightly to accomodate his lovely new treasure, Bliss herself.

It continued in this way until the night he visited his vault and found it empty. He called his most trusted advisor over and asked where all his treasure had gone. The man answered that it lay in the room of the king's most favored concubine, the one called Bliss. The king felt bewildered by this, but remembering the old woman's admonishment he told one of his servants to retrieve one of the gifts he had given his concubines. The servant obliged and the king spent yet another intoxicating night with Bliss.

His queen and his advisors tried to counsel him that perhaps this was folly, but found their advice go to deaf ears. He continued to see his most favored concubine until he had stolen all the gifts from his concubines, and his queen had left, seeing very plainly that her possessions would be next.

One night the king found he had nothing to offer Bliss, but found he could not stand to spend even one night away from her. So he entered her room, finding Bliss reclined on a divan, her neck, arms and hands dripping in gold. As the king entered, her eyes turned to him, a languid expression on her face.

"And what have you brought me today," Bliss asked, an imperious sound to her voice.

"Oh, my favored one, I have given you everything I own, everything my other concubines own. I have nothing left."

Bliss sat and seemed to think, then slowly lifted herself from the divan.

The king watched in horror as with every step towards him, his lovely Bliss' skin roughened to golden scales, her delicate fingernails to claws, her lovely face turning lizardlike until before him stood a dragon with long, large wings.

It was beautiful, with golden scales, and crystal clear blue eyes. But as she tore into him, he couldn't help but feel like somewhere, somehow he'd made a mistake.

Author's Note

I realize it's unfinished etc, since it's simply a first draft written off the top of my head.

Reviews

[Pinki Girl]

Even though it's a first draft I think it's great! I would like to see if the dragon goes somewhere and what she does. At first when the old women mentions about giving the girl treasure you really wonder why, but as the story goes on you begin to wonder instead, where is the king getting all this treasure? When you mention the girl "dripping with gold" I begin to think of a dragon and their greed of gold and my inferences are confirmed as you describe the girl turning into a dragon. A great story, I really can't wait to see more! Also it's really sort of funny when the king finally realizes what a huge mistake he made, but still isn't sure of it

[Victoria Everly]

I really love this. I especially love the last paragraph. She was beautiful. Even as she tore him to pieces.

[TheFemininePad]

Wow that was scary. Great, but scary. I was expecting that kind of ending. Very good job! I really enjoyed reading this story. Your a good writer, and I really like how you captured my attention.

[Michael.]

I doesn't seem unfinished to me.
The style reminds me of a children's story book. :)