The Middle

It's 12:38 A.M where i am, while listening to piano of a more somber tone, this poem came out.

To meet in the middle

Can we cross that line

A given that all there is, is time

But, time is no where near simple.

My lonely calls,

Stripped bare; consumed in dusk

I keep watching you in complete hush

Trying to break down these walls.

I want it to disappear

A river flooding, flowing endlessly

As if I were drowning in an endless sea

It is keeping me from reaching ashore. 

You are me

A reflection from a past time

An existence blooming in springtime

Living a life so carefree.

To meet in the middle

Can we cross that line

To watch the stars align

So that I can collect the 

fragments of my mind?

Author's Note

Sorry for a fragmented piece, but i write and think in fragments. Please enjoy the write and feel free to comment..

Reviews

[petty102]

I think that this might be better without the rhyming. I didn't notice it the first time I read it, and it took me a little while to realize there was a pattern. I think getting rid of the ABBA will free you up a little more to really flesh out your descriptions here and use the words to their fullest.

It's also maybe a little too unfocused. I love the "meeting in the middle" theme, but it gets confused with "I want to disappear" and "collect the fragments of my mind." If this poem is primarily about two disapparate people meeting each other, it needs to focus a bit more on that -- why are they apart? What keeps them apart? It feels almost like this poem is trying to tell two stories, one about meeting in the middle and another about someone trying to gather their thoughts (which, again, would make a great poem, but only on its own).

Despite all of that, however, I really like the last stanza. Even though I'm advocating for removing the rhyming, I love the rhyming in that stanza; it's natural and it flows and it ends on a soft, poignant note. Likewise, even though this stanza is heavily divided between its two stories ("can we cross that line" and "collect the fragments of my mind"), and I feel the poem would be more powerful just focusing on one, I still really like how they go together in this last stanza.

Anyways, in conclusion, you can mess with the rhyming more in the first four stanzas to get it a little more smooth sounding, or you can eliminate all of it. You can expand the poem to make room for both stories or you can eliminate one and expand the other. Either way, the poem is a lovely piece! I like the somberness and softness of it, and I enjoy the fragmented feeling.

[Coyote Poetry]

I do understand this poem dear friend.
"To meet in the middle
Can we cross that line
To watch the stars align
So that I can collect the
fragments of my mind?"
The above lines I needed often in my life. Thank you Natehy for sharing your amazing poetry.
Coyote

[wordman]

wouldn`t it be nice if we could meet in the middle with our desires