Dear Mom

This is just something I made a little while ago. Anyways don't mind it! Please enjoy the read.

Mom, you know I think my depression takes form of different types of animals.
One day it is a poisonous spider that crawls on my inner walls.
The next day it is a bear viciously trying to eat me from inside out.
On those days, I bury myself in the depths of darkness. As if I was already dead, awaiting for his departure.
I call these days, "the dark days".

And mom... I've tried letting in the sunshine to bask in this Gods ecstasy. I'm telling you. There was no difference.
I waited. And I waited for his happiness to transfer to my lifeless soul seeking for death. I hear my soul weeping to go back to the light, but my mind falters. My chest is shattered beyond repair.

Momma. Every time I see you, it hurts. It hurts because I know that you are here, but you are not here. I wonder if it would hurt you if you knew that I knew. But I know. So, where does your mind wander when you're on that high?

This is so pointless because you'll never understand how I got here. Heck. I don't even know.

But mom did you know that this anxiety holds me hostage in this house? Did you know that this anxiety holds me hostage in my own mind ? Unknowingly, I have found comfort in the dark. Ominously sweet that wallows and sinks its teeth into me.

"Are you afraid of dying?"
No. I'm definitely not afraid.
Mom I'm more afraid of living because I'm living in this intoxicating bubble that invokes madness.

Author's Note

Ignore the fragments and please feel free to drop a comment of your thoughts! Enjoy !

Reviews

[JayG]

Seems the kind of thing that results when the therapist says, "Write out the letter you wish you could give your mom, just to get your thoughts out where you can see them." As such, useful, and maybe even healing to the one writing it. Useful, perhaps, if given to Mom. But anyone else reading has no context to make them say anything but, "Awww..."

It informs the reader,yes, but without context it can't involve.

But that's okay, because that's not who it was written for,

[Natehy]

I wouldn't say heal. It's helpful at times though. And exactly, I didn't want to give the context. This was more of an explanation of how the anxiety and depression plays in my life. An explanation to a mother who was off in wonderland and wouldn't quite understand me. But thank you for the comment.

[Coyote Poetry]

Painful and honest words dear Natehy.
"Are you afraid of dying?"
No. I'm definitely not afraid.
Mom I'm more afraid of living because I'm living in this intoxicating bubble that invokes madness."
The above lines. Honest and too real for many. Thank you for sharing the powerful and worthwhile story.
Coyote

[Shannon]

The last sentence could be a powerful start to a poem or even a inspiration for a story. It's unique and I like the language you used.

[David R Gonzalez]

"But mom did you know that this anxiety holds me hostage in this house" this is an excellent line. It so very well describes the feeling of anxiety. That line coupled with "this anxiety holds me hostage in my own mind" really explains anxiety.

[mournful bear]

the dark days i've been, i'am, yet every now and then step out butt it feels safer in the darkness. just your thoughts and you, write them, i do. thanks for your sharing.

[matrixmark]

Anxiety hold me hostage in my own mind - not being an anxiety sufferer myself I can't comment on that line BUT I do know someone who suffers from anxiety and I feel that this line is well thought out.
The line anxiety holding them hostage in their own house - again, personally I can't comment on this line BUT I know that the person is able to go out and do regular stuff. But for other it maybe the case/maybe not - it's all down to that individual.

I thought the piece was good and well thought out on such a delicate subject. It's always hard to review these type of pieces. So regarding grammar..etc - It was pretty much correct. Regarding the subject - you dealt with it by giving a little insight on how a person who suffers with this condition.

To see a person close to you suffer from anxiety is a tough challange and breaks your heart when the anxiety reaches a peak and gets a grip on that person, and that person becomes worried about everything (I know this for a fact) and nothing you can say or do makes things better.

I would say good read BUT thats not appropriate.
I will say well worded though.

Mark.

[Natehy]

Well, when I wrote it I was playing anxiety and depression hand in hand. They'll be able to do regular things as time passes, but there is always something in the back of their heads provoking intoxicated whispers. As you refer to my last line... living inside an intoxicating bubble invoking madness... what I mean is within the person.
The person is always their worst enemy causing an unwanting. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm making sense ? But I tried!
Anyways, thank you so much for the well thought out share!

[matrixmark]

You did make sense...no worries there. And thank you for sharing too.

Mark.

[Aishwarya Prem]

I really liked it!! Anxiety holds me hostage in my own mind..loved that line!! Take care dear :)

[Natehy]

Thank you so much !

[wordman]

anxiety and depression seems to run hand in hand,it can be devastating ,,you wrote it well

[Natehy]

Thank you wordman!