chapter 21

I woke to the feel of the sun’s warm rays caressing my face. For the first time in years I had slept peacefully. Could it really only take one night to change how I viewed things? Now I felt as if my life was a little brighter and that there was hope to better our situation. As I sat up in bed I looked over to the flowers Mathew had given me. The pedals seemed to glow in the light of the morning sun’s rays and I noticed that they were in a vase. The water glistened in its glass container and a white ribbon was tied around the vase and seemed to enhance the red of the flower’s pedals.

On my bed side table I found a note that my mother had left me before leaving probably. In it she told me that I didn’t need to take her to her appointment with the doctor because she met an old friend from her childhood and she offered to take mother. She put in as an afterthought that I should use this free time to spend it with my new admirer.

I chuckled as I got up and got prepared for the day. Mother thought that because Mathew gave me flowers he was my admirer. He couldn’t be interested me in that way for real, right?
As I was leaving the house, my phone went off and it was Rai who called me.

“Hey pumpkin, I just dropped off Belle and I was wondering if you wanted me to come by to take you to school” Rai said as the sound of cars flooded the background.

“Yeah I would love that” I answered in a contented tone that Rai instantly picked up on.

“Well some one seems to have woken up on the right side of the bed. How about you tell me all about it on the way to school?” Rai was genuinely curious about what was going on.

“Okay but don’t go off the hook about what I’m doing” I warned her as I contemplated in my mind what I should tell her and what I shouldn’t.

“Now I’m scared but I promise to try to contain myself” she said and chuckled before hanging up.

I didn’t know how Rai would take the news that Mathew had come to see me and what we had done. It wasn’t anything bad but Rai had always taken it upon herself to look after me, though sometimes she was really over protective.

I walked down the side walk at a calm pace so she wouldn’t pick me up right in front of my house and so give John a reason to get mad when I got back to the house this afternoon. My mind was wandering into a very different territory than it had ever been. Before I could explore what I was thinking further, Rai honked her horn as she pulled up beside me.

“so are you going to tell me what put you in such a good mood?” those were the first words that came out of Rai’s mouth as I  got into her car.

“Yeah, hi, I’m fine and you?” I asked her in a teasing tone that I had not used with her very often and laughed at her surprised expression.

“Belle is trying to get me to remember my manners but it is not something you can teach an old dog like me” she said and chuckled as she pulled the car away from the curb.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a while until I got annoyed with the silence and I blurted out the first thing on my mind.

“Mathew came to see me last night” I instantly put my hands over my mouth but Rai didn’t cause a car accident like I thought she would. Instead she sighed and seemed to let her mind wander to something far in the past.

“I knew one day you would grow up and meet boys but when I looked at the young, scared little girl I thought ‘No, this little one still has many years until the age of boys comes’ but now I see that I was wrong.” Rai pulled into the school parking lot with that far away still on her face.

Then she turned towards me in her seat and seemed to asses me then there was sadness in her eyes as a realization seemed to dawn on her.

“What?” I asked a bit worried as to why Rai was sad

“You are grown up my little one” Rai answered and put a hand on my cheek as a single tear fell from her eye “You aren’t afraid anymore and I think it’s time I let you protect yourself like I know you can.”

I was shocked to see Rai shed a tear that it caused me to feel a burning sensation at the back of my eyes and I knew I wouldn’t last much longer. But was it really so bad to shed tears at this time? At least I wouldn’t be shedding them alone.

“Don’t cry” I whispered to Rai as I wiped the tear away with a finger “I’ll always be your little one. After all you’re like my papa” I confessed to Rai the secret I had held in my heart since I was a small child. My words caused Rai to full out cry in front of me and I joined her with tears that I didn’t know if they were from happiness or something else. It didn’t matter to me that Rai was a woman because she had been the only figure who had acted like a father to me since I could remember.

“My little girl” Rai whispered as she pulled me into her arms and I felt a part of myself heal and fill with a warmth that was so foreign to me.

“Come on let’s stop crying before someone finds us” Rai said in a raspy voice that came from her throat closing up with emotion.

“Y...yeah, you’re right” I answered in a similar raspy voice

We got out of the car but not giving evidence to what we had just gone through.

“Do you want me to pick you up?” Rai asked as she leaned against the trunk of her car and looked at the people and cars passing.

“I’m actually going to get a ride from Mathew” I told her shyly and looked in the direction of Jane’s car to see that Jane, Sarah and Mathew were coming towards us.

“Okay but you call me if you need me.” Rai said with a serious look on her face.

“I will call you, I promise,” then a thought struck me as I saw Jane, Sarah and Mathew. What if I invited Rai and Belle to come with us to the hospital to help the children?

“Hey Adel” Sarah was the first to greet

“Hi everyone,” I greeted with a small smile on my face.

“What are we going to be doing this afternoon? Mathew just kept babbling last night and never really told us something understandable.” Jane said with a teasing tone as Mathew looked away to hide the light blush that had touched his cheeks.

“Well I have to go to see the children again to set up the mood for Halloween. Putting up decorations and stuff and Mathew came up with the idea that we should all go. What do you think?” I asked them with a small pool of hope in my chest.

“I think it’s a spectacular idea, don’t you” Sarah asked Jane who nodded in agreement.

“Now that that is settled, I’ll go and let you all get to class.” Rai said and turned to get into her car.

“Wait,” I grabbed her arm, “I wanted you and Belle to come too” I told her with a small smile

“Of course we will come” Rai said and smiled broadly

“Great” I smiled happily at her and then my smile broadened when she bent down and kissed my forehead.

“I love you, my little one” Rai whispered when she put her forehead against mine.

“I love you too...papa” I whispered back to her and though it felt strange to call anyone papa, it also felt right.

Rai straightened and nodded to everyone else as a goodbye and got in the car. As she drove away, I was hit with a feeling of happiness and joy. I finally realized the family I had right under my nose and it felt good to let that knowledge engulf me. Not only did it make me feel complete but it made me feel safe and loved.

“So, are we going to make any goodies for the little kids at the hospital?” Sarah asked with a sweet smile on her face.

“I was never one for cooking but if you want to make something for the kids, I’m sure they will love it” I told Sarah as we all turned to head for Jane’s car.

“I’m guessing those little ones haven’t been treated to any home cooked treats” Sarah looked excited about the prospect of cooking for the kids at the hospital.

“They will instantly love you, trust me” I assured her

“This is going to be fun” Mathew predicted as he threw an arm around my shoulders.

I tensed at first but then I relaxed and decided an arm around my shoulders wouldn’t kill me. Jane saw the procession and smiled reassuringly at me because she knew how hard it was for me. Somehow I think she knew the change that was going on inside me and she was just waiting for the right moment to give the last little push. But the only question that nagging on me was whether or not that push would lead me in the right direction. What life held for me was a scary mystery that I didn’t know if I wanted to face it. But even if I didn’t want to face fate; no one could run from fate.